Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Letting Your Guard Down and Clown Yoga

With great eloquence, Greg Gutfeld speaks of yoga clowns.

A funny but insightful GREGALOGUE --

I consider myself an openminded person- you can ask anyone who answers my ad on Craig's list. They're usually surprised - then satisfied - and only a small portion ask for their money back or seek medical attention.

But my openmindedness stops at yoga clowns. What's a yoga clown? Well, according to one who goes by the name, "Zinnia," it's a clown who combines posturing and meditation into normal clowning techniques. I believe Yanni invented this.

Zinnia claims she became a yoga clown after 9/11, while living in Belgium - making it another thing we can blame on the terrorists. Sadly there's another yoga clown, called Banana Peel - who rides a unicycle. He says his vocation has not made him rich. He'd probably live in a clown car, if he had one. But I suppose now that there are two yoga clowns on our earth's surface, this constitutes a trend.

Zinnia says clown yoga helps children become healthier - but only if the kids let their guard down. And herein lies my point: as a general rule, you should never listen to anyone who says you should "let your guard down." Guards are "up" for a reason. Religion, evolution and even paintball have shown that people who let their guards down die. Letting your guard down is no different than "if it feels good do it" - a gimmick used to get you to do something you'll regret for the rest of your life. Like clown yoga.

If any adult forces their child to participate in a class featuring clown yoga, I strongly suggest you report them to the authorities - as child abusers. And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler. Or a yoga clown.

Regrets, I've had a few...

3 comments:

  1. Hear, Hear, Mary! Let those with ears to hear, hear!

    L'chaim, Banana Peel (the Yoga Clown)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I did a little research on you, Banana Peel.

    You are one amusing guy, and very flexible, too!

    ReplyDelete
  3. American Justice Dept upheld Indian Yoga and Meditation





    Your website is beautiful, informative and Excellent.

    Article by M.P. Bhattathiri, Retired Chief Technical Examiner , to The Govt.
    of Kerala. Humble request that it may be published in your website and
    magazine after editing if necessary






    In the storm of life we struggle through myriads of stimuli of pressure,
    stress, and muti-problems that seek for a solution and answer. We are so
    suppressed by the routine of this every life style that most of us seem
    helpless. However, if we look closely to ancient techniques we shall
    discover the magnificent way to understand and realize the ones around us
    and mostly ourselves. If only we could stop for a moment and allow this to
    happen…


    Let me bow to Indian Maharishi Patanjali with folded hands who helped in
    removing the impurities of the mind through his writings on Yoga, impurities
    of speech through his writings on grammar, and impurities of body through
    his writings on Ayurveda.

    The American justice Dept. have recently approved the power of yoga and
    meditation vide a recent judgement in the American court.” Man Who Slapped
    Wife Sentenced to Yoga, It's Anger Management, Says Judge." First there was
    house arrest. Now there's yoga. A judge ordered a man convicted of slapping
    his wife to take a yoga class as part of his one-year probation. "It's part
    of anger management," County Criminal Court at Law Judge Larry Standley said
    of the ancient Hindu philosophy of exercise and well-being. "For people who
    are into it, it really calms them down. " Standley, a former prosecutor,
    said the case of James Lee Cross was unique. Cross, a 53-year-old car
    salesman from Tomball, explained that his wife was struggling with a
    substance abuse problem and that he struck her on New Year's Eve during an
    argument about her drinking. "He was trying to get a hold of her because she
    has a problem," Standley said after the court hearing. "I thought this would
    help him realize that he only has control over himself." The sentence came
    as a surprise to Cross, who was told to enroll in a class and report back to
    Standley on his progress. "I'm not very familiar with it," Cross said of
    yoga. "From what I understand, it may help in a couple ways, not only as far
    as mentally settling, but maybe a little weight loss." Darla Magee, an
    instructor at Yoga Body Houston in River Oaks, said she would recommend that
    Cross take a basic yoga class emphasizing breathing and including a variety
    of postures -- forward bends, back bends and twists. "Yoga can help us to
    get rid of many emotional issues we might have," she said. "It's a spiritual
    cleanse." Prosecutor Lincoln Goodwin agreed to a sentence of probation
    without jail time because Cross had no significant criminal history
    http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/metropolitan/2365341.
    Yoga which is one of the greatest Indian contribution to the world has got
    vast potential in all fields. In Tihar jail India Yoga is experimented among
    the inmates and found successful. Their criminal mentality is changed. This
    study aimed at investigating the effect of Vipassana Meditation (VM) on
    Quality of Life (QOL), Subjective Well-Being (SWB), and Criminal Propensity
    (CP) among inmates of Tihar Jail, Delhi. To this effect the following
    hypotheses were formulated. 1. There will be a significant positive effect
    of VM on the QOL of inmates of Tihar jail. 2. VM will have a positive and
    significant effect on SWB of inmates. 3. Criminal propensity (CP) of inmates
    will decrease significantly after attending the VM course. 4. There will be
    significant difference in SWB and CP of experimental (Vipassana) group and
    control (non-Vipassana) group. 5. Male and female inmates will differ
    significantly in SWB and CP, as a result of VM. In the famous "Time"
    magazine the importance meditation and yoga, an ancient Indian system, is
    high-lighted that the ancient mind- and spirit-enhancing art is becoming
    increasingly popular and gaining medical legitimacy. It is a multi billion
    dollar business in US. In many Universities it is accepted as subject and
    included in the Syllabus. In the latest famous book "Inspire! What Great
    Leaders Do" written by Mr.Lance Secretan recently published by John Wiley
    and sons, the benefit of meditation is elaborately described for good
    corporate governance. By practicing transcendental meditation, or TM, many
    people have got relief from back pain, neck pain, depression. The mind calms
    and quiets, . What thoughts you have during meditation become clearer, more
    focused. Anger, anxiety and worries give way to a peace. In the world
    exorbitant medical expenses one can definitely make use of meditation.
    Maharshi Mahesh Yogi and Sri Ravi Sankar are popularizing this. The Iyengar
    Yoga institute in US is famous.
    In Bhagavad-Gita Gita Lord Krishna has inspired Arjuna to rise from his
    depression by preaching Gita in the battlefield and to rise from the
    depression to do his duties. In Holy Gita we can see, being hidden by the
    cosmic overview of any institution beset with myriad problems, not the least
    of which is its lack of moral probity, there is a groundswell of educated
    people seeking answers to deeply personal but universally asked questions.
    Chie Executives taking lessons from yoga, meditation and learning how to
    deal with human resources equations in an enlightened manner. Individuals
    from every walk of life can get ideas of how to be better human beings, more
    balanced and less stressed out.
    Medical studies continue to show regular meditation working magic in
    reducing blood pressure and stress-related illnesses, including heart
    disease. Brain images show that regular meditation helps calm the most
    active sensory-assaulted parts of the brain. The ancient Hindu sage
    Patanjali who had mastered the secrets of the human mind has written a book
    "Yogasutra".In this book we can see how super powers can be achieved by
    meditation. It has both cosmic relevance and cosmic resonance. In spite of
    its universal appeal, for most people total control of mind remains an
    elusive goal and daunting task. From time immemorial, there have been many
    attempts throughout the world to unlock the mysteries of the mind and to
    achieve total control over it through a variety of techniques. One of the
    most powerful of these techniques is meditation.
    Many spiritual leaders, sages, saints, and holy people such asSri. Buddha,
    Sri Ramakrishna, Madam Sarada Devi, and Swami Vivekananda have practiced
    this. One of the ways to control physiological reactions to psychological
    stimuli is meditation, Yoga, Zen Buddhism etc. The scientists take
    Transcendental Meditation (TM) as the uniform technique, and base their
    observations on the study of the subjects engaged in this form of
    meditation. In summing up the results the scientists have come to conclusion
    that the effect of meditation is a "wakeful, hypo-metabolic state". They
    have found that: 1) Yogis could slow both heart rate and rate of
    respiration, 2) Yogis could slow the rate of metabolism as confirmed by
    decreased oxygen consumption and carbon-die-oxide output. 3)
    Electro-Encephala-Gram (EEG - recording of brain activity) in Yogis showed
    changes of calmness in the form of "alpha rhythm" during both eyes closed
    and eyes open recordings. 4) Their skin resistance to electric stimulation
    was increased (indicating increased tolerance to external stimuli). Our
    usual 'defense-alarm' reaction to emotional and physical stress is in the
    form of "fright, flight, and fight" mediated through over-secretion of
    certain neuron-transmitters and neuron-modulators, namely adrenaline and
    dopamine by way of stimulation of sympathetic nervous system. Under the
    influence of these chemicals and hormones, we reflexively become panicky or
    aggressive, our blood pressure rises. Thus stress and anxiety is the end
    result if we allow our natural age-old sympathetic reactions to act and to
    come to surface. We try to run away, become fearful, or fight the situation.
    But today these 'defense-alarm' reactions have no place in our lives.
    Rather, they should be replaced by more calm and serene reactions of
    equanimity and fearlessness. The need is to just 'face the brute, and it
    will go away'. Such desirable reactions of non-aggression and peaceful
    attitude are generated by Y ga and meditation. EEG Studies on Yogis and The
    Zen Meditations: Yogis practicing Raja-Yoga claim that during the state of
    Samadhi they are oblivious to the internal and external stimuli, and they
    enjoy a calm ecstasy during that state. A study was undertaken to record the
    electrical activity of their brain during this state by means of a regular
    and useful test known as electroencephalography EEG. Physiological and
    experimental studies have demonstrated that the basis of conscious state of
    brain, among other things, is due to activation of "reticular system" in the
    brain-stem in response to internal and external stimuli. These stimuli bring
    about various changes during sleeping and wakeful states of the organism and
    these can be studied by EEG. The study was carried out on four subjects
    during the state of concentration and meditation. Effects of external
    stimuli, like a loud gong, strong light, thermal simulation, and vibrations
    were studied. The results were compiled and analyzed. It was observed that
    two Yogis could keep their hands immersed in extremely cold water for about
    50 minutes (raised pain threshold). During the state of meditation, all of
    them showed persistent "alpha activity" in their EEG with increased
    amplitude wave pattern, both during 'eyes closed' and 'eyes open' recording.
    It was observed that these alpha activities could not be blocked by various
    sensory stimuli during meditation. It was also observed that those, who had
    well-marked "alpha activity" in their resting EEG showed greater aptitude
    and zeal for maintaining the practice of Yoga. Similar observations and
    results were obtained when EEGs were recorded in persons adept in Zen
    Meditative technique. Can we say that only those persons who exhibit such
    recording of "alpha wave rhythm" in their EEG are fit for Yoga? and be
    designated as right candidates for meditation and Yoga practices? (Such
    experiments are indeed very few and the number of yogis examined is also
    very small. Therefore, scientifically and statistically these observations
    have only a tentative importance. Further research is definitely called for,
    albeit it will have its own limitations.) It is said that in the unknown
    period of Lord Jesus Christ , He was under meditation.
    Ref. Yoga magazines
    Newsweek.com
    New York times
    Time magazine

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