Leno: Al Qaeda Christmas Attacks

JAY LENO: Captured insurgents have told Iraqi authorities that al Qaeda is planning Christmas attacks in the U.S. and Europe. Well, of course, the U.S. government sprung into action. They told al Qaeda, 'Hey, you cannot call them Christmas attacks. You have to call them holiday attacks.'

Al Qaeda threatening to disrupt Christmas... Oooh! Who do they think they are? Relatives? Please.

Did you see what al Qaeda said? Al Qaeda said these attacks will bring our economy to its knees. Hey! Too late, pal! Sorry! Beat ya to it!