Thursday, November 10, 2016

Jimmy Fallon: Trump Election Jokes, November 9, 2016

JIMMY FALLON: The big story is that America woke up this morning and was like... [Clip of Steve Urkel: 'Did I do that?'].

That's right. Donald Trump is going to be president. Republicans hope he'll keep his promise to build the wall, and Democrats hope he'll keep his promise not to accept the election results.

After the results came in, Donald Trump gave a big victory speech. Yup, he said he couldn't have done it without the love of his life, his rock, his better half -- FBI Director James Comey.

And President Obama called Donald Trump last night to congratulate him, even invited him to the White House for a meeting tomorrow. Of course, it was hard to understand Obama because at the time he was chewing 80 pieces of Nicorette.

And this probably didn't surprise a lot of people, but Trump also received congratulations from Russian president Vladimir Putin. They spent two minutes on the phone discussing politics then an hour saying, 'No, you hang up.' 'No, you hang up.' 'No, you hang up.' 'No, you hang up.' 'No, you.'

Of course, this means that early next year Trump will be moving into the White House. He'll become the first president who moves in and hangs up his own portrait.

Another big story to come out of last night was how bad the polling was. But the people who work in the polling industry said that they're going to go back and figure out what they did wrong, then present their findings at the Cleveland Browns Super Bowl parade.

Actually, I read that the polls may have been off because the shift to cell phones made it harder to collect data from people. Then Hillary said, 'They seem to have a pretty easy time collecting data from my phone.'

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