Let's Make a Deal

Who needs immigration reform?

Why spend all the time and energy marching in the streets?

Why argue about a wall on our southern border, known by activists for illegal aliens' rights as "Sensenbrenner's Wall of Shame"?

Why worry about ripping families apart?

I have a proposal. It wouldn't solve everything, but it would be a start.

Although immigration reform does not intend to single out a specific racial or ethnic group, it is often framed by activists for illegals as racist, particularly attacking Latinos.

So, to address the problems at the U.S. and Mexican border, I propose that Mexico become part of the United States.

Why not?

Bring Mexico into the Union, welcome Mexican citizens into the American family, and the problems go away.

We should take complete control over Mexico. We haven't added a new state since 1959. Isn't it time we stretched out a little bit?

We're always accused of being an imperial power. Let's act like one.
Since we are providing economic opportunity, education, and medical care for illegals anyway, and they feel entitled to these benefits, I think in exchange we should redraw the borders.
We could eliminate a lot of ugliness by simply having Mexico become part of the United States. We really could.
Also, we know that Mexicans have control of their southern border, so Central American illegals coming in from the south wouldn't be an issue. That worry is already solved because Mexico currently enforces its immigration laws. They have a handle on it. No problem there. These new Americans could protect the new southern border successfully.

This really is a win/win situation.
Under my plan, the U.S. grants rights to illegal Mexican immigrants by bestowing citizenship on them. The illegals already believe they deserve these rights and benefits. Millions are already reaping them anyway.

In return, we get the land. We increase our tax base. It would be a new frontier for entrepreneurs looking for an eager labor force. And, we get Cancun. That would be nice.

I do have some concerns about our flag. We can't just tack on a 51st star. That would throw the whole thing out of balance.

I propose that Mexico be divided into ten states, for the sake of symmetry on Old Glory.

Sound good?
All right. I think we can work this out.