Cheers!

Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett was on Today this morning, defending his city's image.

I'm sorry I missed it. He surfaces so rarely.

Barrett was tapped for an interview because of a report in Forbes that cited Milwaukee as the most drunk city in America.

From Forbes:

It will come as no surprise that the residents of a city known as "The Nation's Watering Hole" like to have a beer or two.

But Milwaukee isn't just your average brewing town. It's the hardest-drinking city in America, according to Forbes.com's ranking of America's Drunkest Cities.

To determine the rankings, we started with a list of the largest metropolitan areas in the continental U.S. Thirty-five candidate cities were chosen based on availability of data and geographic diversity.

Each city was ranked in five areas: state laws, number of drinkers, number of heavy drinkers, number of binge drinkers and alcoholism. Each area was assigned a ranking in each category, based on quantitative data, and all five categories were then totaled to produce a final score, which was sorted to produce our rankings.

Milwaukee ranks high for its drinking habits across the board. According to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System Survey 2004, more than 70% of adult Milwaukeeans reported that they had had at least one alcoholic drink within the past 30 days--the highest percentage on our list. Twenty-two percent of Milwaukee respondents confessed to binge drinking, or having five or more drinks on one occasion--also the highest on our list. And 7.5% of the population were reported as heavy drinkers--adult men that have more than two drinks per day, or adult women who have more than one drink per day.

Do you know what this drunkest city designation means???

It means that Milwaukee is the most honest city in America.

Milwaukee has long had a reputation as a city built on beer. It was once the nation's top beer-producing city, home to four of the world's largest breweries: Schlitz, Pabst, Miller and Blatz. Legendary sitcom characters Laverne and Shirley fixed bottle caps on one of the city's assembly lines. Even the name of the town's baseball team--The Brewers--alludes to its boozy past.

Milwaukee is no longer the top beer-producer in the U.S. and hasn't been for years.

The theory that its beer-producing roots has anything to do with consumption now is odd.

And are we to believe that Laverne and Shirley reruns impact the drinking habits of Milwaukeeans?

Finding a causal relationship between current drinking and the name of Milwaukee's baseball team is bizarre.

Following that line of thinking, Pittsburgh should be the American city with the most pirates. Has anyone looked into that?

Are there more twins in Minnesota than other places in the U.S.?

Coming in second on our list is another chilly metro: Minneapolis-St. Paul. The twin cities ranked No. 2 for adults who reported having had a drink in the last month, No. 3 for binge drinkers and No. 12 for heavy drinkers.

Rounding out the top five drunkest cities are Columbus, Ohio; Boston; and Austin, Texas.

Curiously, several towns with a reputation for partying and drinking didn't rank very high on the list. You might be able to score a free cocktail in any Las Vegas casino, but overall, the city comes in at only No. 14. New Orleans is home to Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras, but it only ranked in 24th place. And spring-break party spot Miami placed all the way down at No. 33 of 35.

Yes, that is "curious," isn't it?

Vegas is a mecca for teetotalers, but Milwaukee is a haven for drunks.

IT MAKES NO SENSE.

Of course, just because a city ranks high on the list doesn't make it a den of debauchery. A top-drinking town could be populated by grandmas who imbibe a glass of wine every night to keep their heart healthy. And just because someone tips back a few beers doesn't make them irresponsible.

But it's a safe bet that nobody's going thirsty in Milwaukee.

Clearly, the "study" has problems.

If it offers anything of value, it reveals that people in Milwaukee are less likely to lie about their alcohol consumption than people in other areas of the country.


Be proud Milwaukeeans.
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Mike Nichols has an entertaining take on the Forbes survey.