Al Gore, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Oscar

About an hour and fifteen minutes into the Academy Awards broadcast, Al Gore took the stage.

The adoring crowd embraced him.

Leonardo DiCaprio joined Gore to announce that for the first time in the history of the awards, the ceremony had gone green.

Well, whoop dee frickin' do.

What does that mean anyway?

Gore and DiCaprio were introduced immediately following Melissa Etheridge's performance of the nominated song "I Need to Wake Up" from An Inconvenient Truth.

As Etheridge sang, tips on how to save the world from the certain horrors of global warming were projected on to a black screen behind her.

What sort of tips?

Walk to work, write Congress, that sort of stuff.

Is that supposed to ease the consciences of these spoiled, self-indulgent egomaniacs?

Not many of the "what you can do" suggestions were visible since most of the time the camera was tight on Etheridge.

When Gore spoke, I don't really know what he said specifically. Whenever he talks, I zone out. I just can't listen to his voice without going into a state of minimal consciousness.

I remember DiCaprio saying how proud he was to be standing next to Gore, a true champion in leading the fight against global warming.

Viewers were instructed to go to www.oscar.com for more information.

This year, the Academy, the Oscar telecast producer Laura Ziskin and the entire production team endeavored to select supplies and services with a sensitivity toward reducing the threats we face from global warming, species extinction, deforestation, toxic waste, and hazardous chemicals in our water and food. With guidance and assistance from the Natural Resources Defense Council, a non-partisan environmental and advocacy organization, we learned that it was easy (and often cost effective) to make simple changes to reduce Oscar's ecological footprint. Here are a few of the things we learned (with help from the NRDC website www.nrdc.org)

A lengthy list of suggestions on how to save energy on the road and at home, save resources at home and at work, conserve water, and support organic and sustainable farming follows.

What a joke!

In this land of excess and indulgence, I don't think the Hollywood community should be preaching to all of us, the wonderful people out there in the dark, about what we need to do to conserve.

Gore did not fulfill the fantasies of some Lefties. He did NOT announce his intention to run for president in 2008.

DiCaprio set up a gag with Gore, asking the 2000 presidential candidate if there was anything he wanted to announce.

"I guess with a billion people watching, it's as good a time as any. So my fellow Americans, I'm going to take this opportunity here and now to formally announce my intentions ...," Gore said, his voice trailing away as the orchestra cut him off.

I admit that was kind of funny.

You can tell that Gore loves Hollywood as much as Hollywood loves him.

I hope his star status doesn't change him.

I'd hate to hear that he's shaved his head. I wouldn't want to see any photos of him getting out of an eco-limo without pants, exposing himself.

That would be bad.