Cry Me a River of Beer

It was reminiscent of the Boston Tea Party.

This modern day protest didn't involve dumping tea. Beer was sprayed into the Milwaukee River.

MILWAUKEE -- Some Wisconsin brewers held their own version of the Boston Tea Party, spewing beer suds into the Milwaukee River to protest legislation they say hampers start-up breweries.

They staged their sticky protest Tuesday against a proposed update to post-Prohibition laws related to the blooming business of craft beermaking.

The bill would divide small brewers into two licensed classes — those who want to serve food as brewpubs, and those who seek to bottle and distribute their product on a larger scale. The latter would face new restrictions on food service.

The brewers, who acknowledge they're not savvy about the legislative process, say it's not fair for new beermakers to have to decide their fate that early.

"Every business takes on a life of its own," said Jim McCabe, proprietor of the Milwaukee Ale House. "For the guy that wants to start a brewery tomorrow, he's got to make decisions early in his business life that aren't possible."

After countdowns in English and German, the kegs were opened with mallets that sent a fountain of foam across the deck and into the Milwaukee River.

...The issue started when the Great Dane Pub opened a third location in the Madison area but couldn't sell its own brews because the law allows only two such operations per chain. That problem is supposed to be fixed in the new legislation, but beermakers say the update would present a new set of problems.

The protest succeeded in that it brought attention, even national attention, to Wisconsin brewers' gripes.

Not to put a damper on the protest spirit, but wasn't this a case of illegal dumping in the Milwaukee River?

Were citations issued?

Is beer good for the environment?

Does beer help the river's ecosystem?

Is the Milwaukee River capable of hosting an ecosystem?

I don't have the answers.

In any case, the dumping of beer is better than the dumping of raw or partially treated sewage by the Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District.