Honorary Democrat Ramblin' Osama bin Laden

The before and after images of Osama bin Laden are striking.

His makeover is a dramatic improvement.

I must say the carefully trimmed, black-bearded Osama bin Laden looks years younger than the scraggly, gray-bearded version.

Islamic extremists are probably fantasizing and swooning over the new and improved bin Laden.

"Mrs. Osama bin Laden, Mrs. Osama bin Laden, Mrs. Osama bin Laden."

But I digress.

The look is new but the message is the same.

WASHINGTON -- A new video of Osama bin Laden makes no overt threats against the United States and appears to have been made as recently as this summer, a government official said Friday.

The video includes references to current events in the war in Iraq, the official said. That would bolster the video's authenticity, which intelligence officials still are trying to confirm.

The new video of al-Qaida leader bin Laden — his first in three years — runs nearly 30 minutes long, said the government official who has seen a transcript of its contents and spoke on condition of anonymity because it has not been made public.

Bin Laden makes "no overt threat" in the video, the official said.

No overt threats.

What a holy man!

But he mentions Sept. 11 several times and says that while the United States is the greatest economic and military power in the world, the nation is unjust, the official said.

Big deal.

Democrats and their followers say that every day.

...Several intelligence and counterterror officials said there was still a question about whether the video was authentic — whether it is, in fact, Osama bin Laden on the tape. But one intelligence official said there has never been one of these tapes that has proven not to be authentic.

The government also is looking at bin Laden's physical characteristics — in part, for clues about his health after unconfirmed rumors earlier this year that he had died of kidney disease.

Soon after word emerged that the United States had the video, Islamic militant Web sites that usually carry statements from al-Qaida went down and were inaccessible. The reason for the shutdown was not immediately known.

Evan H. Kohlmann, a terrorism expert at globalterroralert.com, said he suspected it was the work of al-Qaida itself, trying to find how the video leaked to U.S. officials.

"For them this is totally disruptive that the U.S. government could have a copy before their targeted audience does," he said. "They could be concerned and trying to plug the leak quickly."

If it's true that the al Qaeda video was leaked, it would follow that heads will roll, literally.

ABC has obtained a transcript of the bin Laden tape.

According to the transcript, bin Laden opens with "praise to Allah" and his "law of retaliation" -- "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and the killer is killed."

He says President Bush's words echo "neoconservatives like Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Richard Perle."

All the neocon talk echoes Ron Paul's drivel.

Bin Laden also spoke to the ongoing situation in Iraq throughout the tape.

"People of America: the world is following your news in regards to your invasion of Iraq, for people have recently come to know that, after several years of tragedies of this war, the vast majority of you want it stopped. Thus, you elected the Democratic Party for this purpose, but the Democrats haven't made a move worth mentioning. On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war there."

Bin Laden sounds like a Katie Couric fan.

The transcript indicates that bin Laden refers to a statement from a U.S. soldier in Iraq, from an interview taped by a British journalist. Quotes from the interview aired in a July report on ABC News.

"It would benefit you to listen to the poignant messages of your soldiers in Iraq, who are paying -- with their blood, nerves and scattered limbs -- the price for these sorts of irresponsible statements," the transcript says.

"Among them is the eloquent message of Joshua which he sent by way of the media, in which he wipes the tears from his eyes and describes American politicians in harsh terms and invites them to join him there for a few days," the statement continues.

This makes me sick.

Bin Laden exploits an American soldier.

That really bugs me.

According to the transcript, bin Laden says there are two ways to end the war:

"The first is from our side, and it is to continue to escalate the killing and fighting against you."

The second is to do away with the American democratic system of government. "It has now become clear to you and the entire world the impotence of the democratic system and how it plays with the interests of the peoples and their blood by sacrificing soldiers and populations to achieve the interests of the major corporations."

American liberals are pushing for socialism, but conservatives certainly don't consider our system of government to be impotent.

The rambling transcript also mentions French President Sarkozy, which suggests the tape was made after Sarkozy's election in May.

Bin Laden goes on to call Noam Chomsky "among one of the most capable of those from your own side," and mentions global warming and "the Kyoto accord."

He also speaks to recent issues grabbing headlines in the United States, referring to "the reeling of many of you under the burden of interest-related debts, insane taxes and real estate mortgages; global warming and its woes..."

"To conclude," bin Laden says, "I invite you to embrace Islam." He goes on to say: "There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent."

Bin Laden is not a funny man. He's evil incarnate; but it's hard to read this stuff and keep from laughing.

Noam Chomsky?

The mortgage crisis?

Global warming?

Are greenies squirming? Is Al Gore sweating over this or is he praising bin Laden?

One of the only areas that bin Laden diverges from the Dems is on the issue of taxes.

He tempts over-taxed Americans to embrace the tax-free utopia of Islam.

When he says, "there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent," he sounds like a used car saleman.

That's hilarious.