Outside of zoos and the rare pet here and there, we don't have monkeys in Wisconsin.
That's a good thing.
Monkeys aren't always amusing playful little creatures. They have a dark side.
Remember the sexist pig Kenyan monkeys?
They made "lewd signs" at women and children, mercilessly harassing them.
Now, monkeys in New Delhi are behaving badly, very badly.
From AFP:
Just weeks after the Indian capital's deputy mayor toppled to his death fending off a pack of monkeys, the animals have gone back on the attack, sparking fresh concerns about the simian menace.
One woman was seriously hurt and two dozen other people were given first aid after monkeys rampaged through a neighbourhood in east Delhi over the weekend, media reports have said.
"There were about three or four monkeys involved," deputy police commissioner Jaspal Singh told AFP.
"Wildlife officials are trying to find them. As police we're not experts in dealing with monkeys. We can deal with mad bulls but monkeys are more difficult," he said.
Along with an estimated 35,000 sacred cows and buffaloes that roam free in the capital, marauding monkeys have been longstanding pests.
They routinely scamper through government offices, courts and even police stations and hospitals as well as terrorise neighbourhoods.
But the issue boiled over in late October when the city's deputy mayor, Sawinder Singh Bajwa, 52, fell to his death driving away monkeys from his home.
He was on his balcony reading a newspaper when four monkeys appeared. As he waved a stick to scare them away, he tumbled over the edge, his family said.
In the latest incident in Delhi's Shastri Park area, residents reported the monkeys appeared late Saturday and rampaged for hours.
"I was talking to someone at my door at around 11 pm when a monkey appeared," said Naseema, who goes by one name, told the Times of India. "As I moved inside, the monkey followed and sank its teeth in my baby's leg."
Estimates of the size of Delhi's monkey population range from 10,000 to over 20,000.
In 2001 residential districts petitioned courts to make Delhi "monkey-free."
And last May, federal lawmakers demanded protection from the simians.
But there has been little visible progress.
"We're trying to catch them but the difficulties are a shortage of monkey catchers. We're not able to take full action at full speed," A.K. Singh, a senior municipal official, said.
Rampaging monkeys, biting children. Monkeys running through hospitals.
10,000-20,000 monkeys overrunning New Delhi.
That's nuts! These are not sweet little Curious George characters. They're a danger to society, a health hazard.
Delhi has set a 10-million-rupee (253,000 dollar) budget to capture the monkeys which are handed over to a shelter in a disused mine area on the city's outskirts. Neighbouring states have refused to release the monkeys into their forests.
Efforts to drive out the animals is complicated by the fact Hindus view them as a living link to Hanuman, the monkey god who symbolises strength.
Delhi's mayor has admitted authorities cannot cope with the violent animals.
"We've neither the expertise nor the infrastructure," said Mayor Aarti Mehra.
If they are caught, "we're under pressure to release them due to pressure from animal activists and from people due to religious reasons."
Kartick Satyanarayanan, head of India's Wildlife SOS, said the invasion of the animals' natural habitats by mushrooming populations was at the root of the problem. "Humans are taking all their space."
In other words, the monkeys are untouchable. They're violent but they're protected.
People refuse to control the monkeys because they are a link to the monkey god of strength.
These monkeys are strong. They're taking over New Delhi, bringing the human population to its knees.
I can't stand the mosquitoes in Wisconsin. Still, I'd rather have to put up with those pests than the monkey menace.
I don't think I could deal with violent monkeys.
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