Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Yoga, Stress, and "Organic Incense"

Greg Gutfeld explains why he hates yoga.

So Natavia Lowery, allegedly confessed on Friday to murdering a millionaire realtor named Linda Stein. She beat her to death with Stein's yoga stick.

Now, I don't know what a yoga stick is and the killer must be punished. But should it surprise you that a tool used for peace has been implemented in an act of brutality? Not me. I never liked yoga.

My own personal experiences with yoga instructors always left me irritated and chafed. Not to the point of killing, but to the point of at least hiding their patchouli.

My beef is that yoga is painted as a superior and soothing way to deal with stress, which then allows its self-righteous practitioners to be jerks the rest of the day.

It's true. People who do yoga also tend to steal your cab, yell at waiters and waitresses or let their little dog poop on your door step.

Being totally at peace with yourself, allows you to crap all over everyone else.

But here's why I really hate yoga: Whenever I did it, the person in front of me always broke wind during an intense stretch. She called it "organic incense." And it made me sad.

And that's my gut feeling!


Yes, those self-righteous practitioners of yoga can tend to be jerks.


Speaking of self-righteous jerks, Al Gore, NBC, and it's green peacock week comes to mind, too.


Why is it that these stress-free do-gooders, supposedly living in perfect harmony with the universe, are often bitter, selfish, hypocritical and pompous?



I've noticed a similar sort of air of superiority exhibited by drivers of hybrid cars, minus the "organic incense" part that follows an intense yoga stretch.


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