Can We Talk?

Kathy Flanigan of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel writes about wine, women, and conversation. She focuses on one group in particular, Divas of Wine.

Once a month at a stylish storefront wine shop in Brookfield, a group of women raise a glass to one another, simultaneously raising the roof on the store with laughter and conversation. They call themselves, and the event, Divas of Wine.

If you were sitting next to them at, say, a restaurant, you would identify them as "the loud table."

"We get loud and crazy. I like that about us," said Tina Mason, an obstetrician-gynecologist who co-owns WineStyles, 17000 W. Blue Mound Road, Brookfield. "We let down those guards, that aura of being ladylike and demure."

Dr. Mason, I DON'T like that about you.

If ladylike means being considerate and polite, then everyone, male and female, should strive to be more ladylike when out in public.

Flanigan doesn't condemn the boisterous "gal pals" for their complete lack of consideration for other patrons in restaurants. She simply reports on the phenomenon of noisy women.

So I will condemn.

Sitting next to a table of loud-mouthed women is my idea of hell.

It's not just tables of these women at restaurants, relatively small enclosed areas.

They're a problem at outdoor venues and events. I've come across them while shopping. Wherever they gather, even just two or three of them, the noise level is torture.

That laughing! Oh God, the laughing!

Even one woman with an ear-shattering laugh can drive me nuts.

This past Fourth of July, I was watching fireworks next to one. The booming fireworks were like ambient music compared to the sound coming from that woman.

It's not just the decibel level. It's the pitch. Alcohol is a factor, but I assume the loud-talking annoying women aren't too tipsy when they're at the mall.

I have dubbed these women "North American Cacklers." Like birds, they have a distinctive call -- the shrieking laugh.

Sitting next to them at a restaurant is like having dinner in the poultry barn at the State Fair.

I'd rather sit next to a screaming baby. The baby doesn't have the awareness that grown women have. The baby doesn't know she's annoying everyone within earshot.

The loud women are having fun. Fine. Let them have their fun where they won't infringe on the rights of others to have a pleasant dining experience.

Instead of banning trans fats, the government should crack down on North American Cacklers in restaurants.