SNL: Bill Clinton, Husband to the Secretary of State

DARRELL HAMMOND as BILL CLINTON: I am here tonight to make a very exciting announcement. And even though I'm not supposed to say anything, I can't help myself. After the holiday, Barack Obama will officially appoint me Husband to the Secretary of State.

SETH MEYERS: You mean, he will appoint Hillary as Secretary of State.

CLINTON: Say it however you want to say it, Seth. The point is I am honored.

Now, it's true that this move will make Hillary the Secretary of State, and it is gonna be great. And I just want to say to all those world leaders out there who thought they would be dealing with a cool operator like Barack Obama: Surprise! You got Hillary! Best of luck to you.

Whatever excuses you despots and tyrants are gonna use to explain your bad behavior, just throw those right out the window. She sees through all of them. There are only three words you're gonna need for when Hillary shows up: 'I am sorry.'

It don't work all the time, but sometimes it's a good place to start.

MEYERS: OK, now, one of the holdups to Hillary's appointment were your finances, but reports are you agreed to turn everything over to the Obama transition team.

CLINTON: You know, Seth, I was just hoping for someone to ask me about my finances. If I told you how much I made for a speaking engagement without you askin', it would sound like braggin' because it is a sick number. I mean, you can't believe what people pay me for talkin', TALKIN' -- my second all-time favorite activity.

MEYERS: So, what will this appointment mean for Bill Clinton?

CLINTON: Well, now, the position of Husband to the Secretary of State is a position that requires a lot of international travel. And I'll be honest, I'm lookin' forward to spreadin' American goodwill. I'm gonna spread it from the snow-topped peaks of the Himalayas, to the topless beaches of Rio, to the bottomless beaches of Ibiza.

So in conclusion, I will take my show on the road. I will support Barack Obama. And I will not allow my finances to screw this up for Hillary, because if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: The last thing I want to do is screw Hillary.