Family Guy and Christian Bale

UPDATE: The Christian Bale segment was removed from "Ocean's Three and a Half." It was not included when the episode was rerun on April 5, 2009.
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Seth MacFarlane worked the infamous f-bomb meltdown of Christian Bale, Hollywood's Rahm Emanuel, into tonight's episode of Family Guy.

Poor Peter Griffin is Bale's target.

Here is audio of the UNCENSORED version. (Warning: Explicit language.)

Video.



The clip runs slightly over two minutes, so MacFarlane cut out a significant portion of the orginal Bale rant. Needless to say, when it aired on FOX tonight, the segment was heavily bleeped.

I'm not a big Family Guy fan, but this was funny.

Full Transcript

PETER GRIFFIN: I tell ya, he's treated me worse than that jerk Christian Bale did.



CHRISTIAN BALE: I want you off the ------- set, you -----.

GRIFFIN: Sorry.

BALE: No, don't just be sorry. Think for one ------- second.

GRIFFIN: I dropped a peanut M&M, and it rolled over here.

BALE: Am I going to walk around and rip your ------- lights down in the middle of a scene?

GRIFFIN: Those are Christmas lights. I put 'em up to make everyone happy.

BALE: Then why the ---- are you walking right through, uh-da-dah-da-dah, like this in the background? What the ---- is it with you?

GRIFFIN: Boy, you are gonna owe a fortune to the "swear jar."

BALE: You got any ------- idea about, hey, it's ------- distracting having somebody walking up behind Bryce in the middle of the ------- scene? Give me a ------- answer.

GRIFFIN: Uh, I don't get it.

BALE: What don't you get about it?

GRIFFIN: I don't get why we need another Terminator. I just... I don't, I don't get it.

GRIFFIN: Oh, and by the way, sorry, I, I ate that last piece of pie that you were saving for yourself.

BALE: Ohhh, good for you. And how was it?

GRIFFIN: It was good.

BALE: I hope it was ------- good, because it's useless now, isn't it?

GRIFFIN: Well, it's nourishing me, so that's, that's useful.

BALE: ---- sake, man, you're ------- amateur.

GRIFFIN: I don't know that word.

BALE: Stay off the ------- set, man. Alright, let's go again.

GRIFFIN: Can we just take a minute?

BALE: Let's not take a ------- minute, let's go again!

GRIFFIN: I gotta go pee, and I wanna walk around some more, but I wanna do it while the scene's going.

BALE: You're unbelievable, man.

GRIFFIN: You know, I just don't understand...

BALE: Eh, you don't ------- understand what it's like working with actors. That's what that is.

GRIFFIN: I, I don't think that's what that is.

BALE: That's what that is, man. I'm telling you.

GRIFFIN: Hey, my family's coming to town. Do you mind pretending that I'm the director?

BALE: I'm going to ------- kick your ------- ass if you don't shut up for a second! All right?

GRIFFIN: (whimpering, begging) Please don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me, Mr. Bale.

BALE: I'm going to go... Do you want me to ------- go trash your lights?

GRIFFIN: No.

BALE: Do you want me to ------- trash 'em?

GRIFFIN: (crying) No, I don't want you to trash 'em.

BALE: You do it one more ------- time and I ain't walking on this set if you're still hired.

GRIFFIN: Sorry, it's my first day.

BALE: I'm ------- serious. You're a nice guy. You're a nice guy.

GRIFFIN: I don't feel like a nice guy.

BALE: But that don't ------- cut it when you're ------------ and ------- around like this on set.

GRIFFIN: Geez, do you punch your mother with that mouth?

BALE: Seriously, man, you and me, we're ------- done professionally.

GRIFFIN: Wait, just professionally? (Gasp!) Are you asking me out on a date?

BALE: ------- ass.