Friday, June 19, 2009

Conan O'Brien and Max Weinberg: Mom-Robbing Cross-Dressing Cretin

Poor Max Weinberg.

Conan O'Brien outed him as a mom-robbing, cross-dressing cretin.


CONAN O'BRIEN: I just read something in the paper that intrigued me. Actually, it didn't intrigue me. It got me mad. A con man in Brooklyn, New York dressed up as his own dead mother so he could collect thousands of dollars in government benefits and take out mortgages in her name. Did you hear about this? Yeah, it's in the paper. It's online. It's everywhere, this story. Now folks, I've heard some pretty disgusting tales in my time, but this is a new low. I mean, what kind of creep would dress up in his dead mother's clothes just to get a few extra bucks from the government?

(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)

He'd have to be a real lowlife. A narcissistic sociopath who'll happily sacrifice his own mother's dignity if it means a down payment on a condo for his Ukrainian mistress.

(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)

He'd have to have a complete lack of moral fiber. The kind of degenerate that could put on a dress of the woman who raised him just to get more money to blow at the dog track or start up his own line of all lesbian bum fight videos.

(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)

I'm telling you, I bet this guy sleeps like a baby without a single trace of remorse behind his glassy reptilian eyes.

(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)

And what's really sad is he's probably dragged some dimwitted accomplice into this mess, some naive, dough-faced, mouth breathing schlub who thought it really was the old lady the whole time.

(Cut to shot of LaBamba)

I'm telling you, if you're as revolted by this as I am, please send your words of outrage to: Mom-Robbing-Cross-Dressing-Cretin c/o The-Tonight-Show-with-Conan-O'

(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg wearing a woman's wig, with the e-mail address at the bottom of the screen)

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