Once again, Wisconsin makes its way into The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien.
And once again, poor Max Weinberg must bear the brunt of O'Brien's disgust at an adulterer in the news.
Transcript
CONAN O'BRIEN: Now some of you may have heard about this. It was reported this week..., this story was everywhere. A man in Wisconsin was cheating on his wife with three different women. And when the women all found out about each other, they got mad. They got together. They tied the man up, and they Krazy Glued his penis to his stomach.
(Cheers and applause)
It's true. Ladies and gentlemen, it's completely insane. I was thinking about this guy. What kind of selfish, egomaniacal jerk would string along four different women at once just for his own personal pleasure?
(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)
He'd have to be a real dirtbag. The kind of narcissistic middle-aged loser who thinks dogging around with women will somehow compensate for his personal shortcomings and utterly soulless existence.
(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)
Just, just imagine this weasel bouncing around between sleazy motels in some sick, twisted four-way until his jilted lovers are so fed up they slap glue on his overused, undersized genitals.
(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)
And, he probably uses some friend as an alibi, too, some innocent, asexual schlub too naive or stupid to realize he's even being exploited.
(Cut to shot of LaBamba)
If you're as disgusted by this as I am, please send your words of outrage to: Sleazy Adulterous Glue-Penis c/o thetonightshowwithconanobrien@NBC.com.
(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)
I bet Donessa Davis doesn't find a lot of humor in that bit.
More is being learned about Davis.
From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:
A man who prosecutors say was tied up, humiliated and assaulted by four women as payback for his cheating ways was accused Thursday of hitting his daughter and stealing the ashes of his estranged wife's dead father.
The 36-year-old man was charged in eastern Wisconsin's Fond du Lac County Circuit Court with felony child abuse and three misdemeanors - theft, unlawful phone use and harassment - according to a criminal complaint.
Four women, including the man's wife and two women alleged to be his lovers, are accused of luring him to a hotel room in Stockbridge a week ago before tying him to a bed, blindfolding him and gluing his penis to his stomach. Each is charged with being party to false imprisonment, a felony, and one is charged with fourth-degree sexual assault, a misdemeanor.
The Associated Press is not naming the Fond du Lac man to protect his identity as an alleged victim of sexual assault.
A judge on Thursday set the man's bail at $5,000 and ordered a preliminary hearing for Aug. 14, according to online court records. The man's attorney, public defender Margaret Vinz, did not immediately return a phone message Thursday seeking comment.
The maximum punishment for the child abuse charge is six years in prison.
The man has not lived with his wife since September, and on July 26, their twin 8-year-old daughters visited him at a Fond du Lac motel, the criminal complaint says.
The complaint gives the following account of the allegations against the man:
One girl told investigators that when her father found out that her mother had learned a woman had been present and painted the girl's fingernails during a visitation earlier in the day, the father got angry and beat the girl.
The girl's sister told investigators she saw her father slapping her sister and stating, "God, I hate you." The girl suffered a swollen eye and a knot on her forehead.
The father told investigators "he plays rough with the kids and may have hit her."
In a voice mail message to his wife on July 31 - the day after he was tied up in the motel room - the man indicated he had her father's ashes and that if he did not receive a call from her, he was going to throw a "cup of them" away every hour.
The wife told investigators her father's ashes were kept in an urn in her Fond du Lac home and must have been taken last Thursday or Friday.
The man told investigators he had the urn, and he gave it to police in Appleton.
One of the man's alleged lovers told investigators the man remarked to her that he wanted to confront his wife by ramming her vehicle off the road while she delivered newspapers and "bash her with a rock."
The man told investigators he made the statement but was not serious. He acknowledged making harassing calls and text messages "to get a rise" out of his estranged wife.
The man also discussed with his alleged lover a plan to take out a $1 million life insurance policy on his wife because he had a friend who had been in Iraq and was a sharpshooter.
The man said the plot would require him to be shot but not killed and that the only flaw was that he had told the lover about it "and he would have to kill her too."
The man told investigators there had been talk about a life insurance policy but that he lied about knowing a sharpshooter.
Good grief.
Davis is a real piece of work.
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