Friday, December 11, 2009

Tiger Woods, Conan O'Brien, Max Weinberg: Shameless Slut Magnet

Not surprisingly, the Tiger Woods saga is still making its way into Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show monologue.

On Thursday, O'Brien did not rely on his Tiger Woods joke caddy, Sean Tuttle, to help him deliver the jokes. Instead, he relied on Max Weinberg.

It was Weinberg who had to bear the brunt of O'Brien's disgust at this adulterer in the news.

Transcript

CONAN O'BRIEN: Well of course today, there are even more revelations in the Tiger Woods scandal. Tiger's text messages, as I said, to his mistresses have come out, and they've been splashed all over the newspapers. Everyone's reading the stuff.

Now I don't know about you, but the more I find out about this sordid mess the more disgusted I am. And it brings up a bigger question -- celebrities who take advantage of their fame and status to bag anything that moves. I mean, what kind of guy would recklessly cheat on his wife with 11 different women and be arrogant enough to think he could actually get away with it?

(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)

He'd have to be a real lowlife, a pathological narcissist who lets his duty to wife and family take a back seat to his insatiable lust for trashy bimbos.

(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)

Imagine the kind of guy who plays the faithful family man while sneaking around his own home frantically texting his dirty little messages to his ever growing stable of sleazy nightclub greeters and B-list porn stars.

(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)

Now of course, a horndog like this probably has a wingman to arrange his booty calls -- some innocent, asexual schlub too naive, stupid, or bondheaded to realize he's being exploited.

(Cut to shot of LaBamba)

If you're as outraged as I am by this, please send your angry comments to: Shameless Skirt-chasing Slut Magnet c/o TheTonightShow.com.

(Cut to shot of Max Weinberg)

1 comment:

michael gilchrist said...

Tiger Woods main priority in life is clearly golf and always has been. If he was truly a family man, he wouldnt have behaved the way he did and jeopardized his relationship with his wife and kids.