Leno: Edward Snowden Jokes

JAY LENO: The new Superman movie opens on Friday. We had Russell Crowe on the other night. He plays Superman's father and it's a great story. When Superman's dad realizes that his son is gifted with x-ray vision and super hearing, he puts him in a rocket and sends him towards earth 'cause he knows with those powers he can get a job with the Obama administration.

This story is getting more bizarre. Yesterday, the Guardian newspaper in England reported that a 29-year-old former technical assistant for the CIA named Edward Snowden leaked the story that the federal government is collecting phone records from Verizon customers. Snowden says, 'You're being watched,' to which NBC executives said, 'Finally.' Gee, that would be great. We would love to be watched.

President Obama said although people are being watched, President Obama said, 'No one is listening to your phone calls.' He said, 'No one in the government is listening to your phone calls.' I believe the president. Have you ever called a government agency? Huh? The person on the other end is never listening. You can talk till you're blue in the face. They're never listening to what you say. No one is listening.

Of course, a lot of people are asking how this Snowden guy could download all this classified information and give it to a British newspaper without the NSA knowing about it. I think they know the answer. If you don't want the NSA spying on you, get a job working at the NSA. That's how it works.

Anyway, this Snowden guy has been in hiding for the last three weeks. Pretty clever guy. He wanted to hide in a place where nobody would see him so he's been in a theater showing After Earth.

Well, Snowden said today he was going to disclose all this information earlier but he wanted to wait until after the election, to which Mitt Romney said, 'Hey, thanks a lot. Appreciate it. Anything I can do for you, give me a call.'

Now, a group of web developers say they have developed an app that protects cell phone users from having their calls and texts tracked. In fact, reporters want to schedule an interview with these developers but they were mysteriously killed in a drone strike.