Government Shutdown Jokes - Leno

JAY LENO: I am glad the government is shut down. Think about it, for the first time in years, it's safe to talk on the phone and send emails without anybody listening in.

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We do have a lot of nonessential employees. Think about this... like the treasury secretary. Why is he there? We don't have any money in the treasury. It's not like he's counting. He's got nothing to do. The room is empty.

And of course, all the national parks are closed. You know, here's my question: How do you close the Grand Canyon? Do you put a giant tarp over it? Do you got a guy say, 'Hey, you can't look in the hole'? 'Don't look in that hole. Don't look down there.'

I love this story. God bless 'em. Today, a group of World War II veterans were denied entrance to the World War II Memorial because of the shutdown. Well, these old guys, they stormed the gates and forced their way in. How about that?

[Applause]

These guys are in their 80s and their 90s and they have more balls than these politicians. How about that?

[Applause]

Do you know what we should do? Let's get these guys to storm Capitol Hill, kick some ass.

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Here's the part I don't get. The government is shut down, services are cut, and 33 percent of the federal workers were sent home. So, if 33 percent of the government is shut down, how come we're still paying 100 percent of our taxes? Shouldn't we get a 33 percent discount, or at least prorate it?