JAY LENO: They now say the state of Virginia could lose millions of tourism dollars because Shenandoah National Park is shut down during the beautiful fall foliage season. So if you're back east and you want to see things turning different shades of orange, you're only hope is John Boehner. That's about it.
The shutdown is hurting everybody. It is so bad hookers are now making Secret Service agents pay in advance. That's how bad it is.
It is so bad Mitch McConnell is down two chin sizes. That's how bad it is.
The Washington Monument-- now sponsored by Viagra. That's how bad it is.