Thursday, June 16, 2016

Jay Leno Monologue: Hillary, Trump, Bernie Sanders, Obama Jokes

Jay Leno was Jimmy Fallon's guest on Wednesday.

As with his past Tonight Show appearances, Leno did a segment of the monologue.

Following their past routines, Fallon gets injured and needs someone to tag in for him. Enter Leno.

JAY LENO: According to the Social Security Administration, the most popular baby names for 2016 - Noah and Emma. Least popular baby names - Donald and Hillary.

Hillary Clinton says she is the most transparent candidate in modern history. How many can see right through her? Just curious.

More problems for Hillary Clinton. Bill has been out campaigning for her, and I don't think he's helping. Like last week in San Diego, Bill stopped to kiss a baby, which is usually OK, except the kid was breastfeeding at the time.

Leno then went on to do a slew of Trump jokes.

LENO: Have you been enjoying Donald Trump's new reality show, The Amazing Racist?

Trump is still refusing to take back what he said about the judge, you know, the judge with the Mexican surname. In fact, Trump has now threatened to have the judge deported back to Indiana.

According to a political science professor, all of Donald Trump's speeches are given at a 5th grade level or below. Today, Trump said the professor who did the study was a doodyhead.

This is fascinating. There's actually a dating site for Trump supporters called, because sometimes screwing the entire country is just not enough. Little hands accepted.
Then, Leno turned his attention to Sanders.
LENO: As Jimmy said, Bernie Sanders is still not conceding. Bernie says he is the most anti-fossil fuel of any of the candidates. Well, of course, he is. That's because he's the only candidate who is an actual fossil.

Bernie Sanders is still upset because he said his fundraising dinners didn't raise as much money as Hillary Clinton's. Well, of course they didn't. Nobody wants to eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon. How much cream of wheat can you eat?

And during an interview last week, Bernie Sanders admitted to smoking marijuana as a young man. He said it impaired his perception and it distorted his thinking. But he expects that to clear up eventually.
Next, and best, Leno did an Obama joke.
LENO: President Obama doing well, approval rating - 51 percent. 51 percent. The other 49 percent are taxpayers.

Whenever Leno does this, I realize just how terribly out of balance Fallon's monologues are.

Make fun of everyone. Keep everyone laughing.

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