Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Jimmy Fallon: Trump Jokes, November 22, 2016

JIMMY FALLON: A new report finds that protecting Donald Trump and his family is costing New York City taxpayers over a million dollars a day. And Trump was like, 'Thank God I'm not a taxpayer.'

Right now, the focus is on who Trump will appoint to his cabinet. In fact, C-SPAN aired a live feed of the elevators at Trump Tower that captured potential cabinet members going up to meet Donald Trump. Did you see that? They even caught the moment Ted Cruz was approaching the elevator and everyone inside frantically hit the 'door close' button.

And this is kind of embarrassing. Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach, who Donald Trump is considering for the Department of Homeland Security, was photographed with his notes that revealed his deportation plan. We didn't do anything. This is real. Take a look at this photo.

[Photo of Trump and Kobach.]

Can we zoom in there? That's real. Trump was like, 'My first order of business as president is buy this dummy a folder.' Even Russian hackers are like, 'C'mon, it's too easy. This is like, I can read everything.'

Kobach seems like the type of guy who says his ATM number out loud as he punches it in. '7-6-9-3, done! And now I get money. That's my money code.'

And get this, Trump's campaign manager Kellyanne Conway was being interviewed yesterday and she said that she's very confident that Trump isn't breaking any laws during his transition. And Americans were like, 'Uh, we weren't even suspicious until you said that. What? Why? What did he do?'

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