Replacing Sean Spicer
Pro: Donald Trump got a new press secretary.
Con: He thinks a "press secretary" is a person who irons his shirts.
Pro: Sean Spicer can find a job that better suits him.
Con: But first he'll need a suit that better fits him.
Pro: Trump hired hedge fund manager Anthony Scaramucci.
Con: "Scaramucci" is also Trump's favorite dish at The Olive Garden.
Pro: Sean Spicer is getting the support of his closest friends...
Con: Scary Spicer, Baby Spicer, Sporty Spicer and Posh Spicer.
Pro: The position was filed with a fast turnaround.
Con: "Fast turnaround" is also what Melania does when she sees her husband down the hall.
Pro: Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci is the new White House communications director.
Con: Somehow a guy named "Tony the Mooch" isn't even close to being the most untrustworthy person in the White House.
Pro: Sean Spicer can now start looking for a less stressful job.
Con: Like "heart surgeon" or "bomb diffuser."
Pro: The bar is set very low.
Con: The bar is also where you'll end up after every press briefing.
Pro: Anthony Scaramucci has a clear message for the American people when it comes to Russia...
Con: "Don't worry 'bout it."
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