CBS: 'Frosty the Inappropriate Snowman'

Way to go, CBS!

It's turned the children's holiday classic Frosty the Snowman and Frosty Returns into a sick ad promoting How I Met Your Mother, as well as the two Christmas animated specials.

Neil Patrick Harris gives voice to the perverted Frosty. Familiar scenes from the original holiday programs are transformed, showing a side of Frosty that's not at all family friendly.

Here it is, from the CBS website:

Video.


Some gems from "Frosty" and the kids:

---"We got to have a bros' night at a strip club and both of our ladies are totally cool with it, because they understand that it's healthy for us to do that from time to time, because it's harmless."

A female child responds: "Did one of your whores tell you that?"

---"Open it. Open it, open it, open it, open it. (Refrigerated boxcar door opens.) It's my porn collection! Just kidding. That would be weird. It's my porn collection. I'm giving you my porn!"

---(Sound of whip cracking) "That, my friend, is the Dominator 8000, the best bull whip on the market, according to my whip guy. Yeah, I have a whip guy."

---"If I'm dead, I want you to honor my memory by taking my body to the Hamptons and recreating Weekend at Bernie's."

---"I have been with a lot of women. Blondes, brunettes, redheads. Big boobs, small boobs, medium boobs. Some boobs that were big but kind of in a bad way."

---(Speaking to Hocus Pocus the rabbit) "You should've hit that. Dude, your pants were already off. You had a classroom full of people to cheer you on, and you can't knock her up 'cause it's a dream. Class dismissed."

---(Referring to physical violence) "Come on, that's my thing. I'm always punching guys, girls. I'll punch a baby. I don't care."

---"My guy in the D.A.'s office scored us front row seats to a lethal injection."

The ad concludes with the line, "SOME HOLIDAY CLASSICS ARE BETTER LEFT UNTOUCHED."

So true.

Then, we see this promo:

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 18
FROSTY THE SNOWMAN 8/7c
FROSTY RETURNS 8:30/7:30c

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
MONDAYS 8/7c

ONLY CBS

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

This "ad" is really creepy. The Frosty holiday specials are children's programming. It's weird that CBS, the network airing these kids' shows, would choose to post such an ad on its website.

It's something I'd expect to see on Saturday Night Live, where irreverent, adult, off-color humor is typical.

I guess in CBS' world, Frosty the Snowman is a jolly happy soul thanks to his porn collection. Nothing says Happy Holidays like porn and a great bull whip.

Inappropriate? Very.