Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Rochelle Walensky: The End Is Near!

From the Babylon Bee:
In what many are calling a concerning sign, CDC Director Rochelle Walensky gave a calm, rational, science-driven pandemic update yesterday, all while holding a sign reading "The End Is Near."

...Dr. Walensky then pulled out several scientific tools to support her hypothesis of impending doom, from tea leaves and a crystal ball to a deck of tarot cards. She drew the top card of the deck: "IT'S DEATH!" she cried. "THE CARDS HAVE SPOKEN! WE CANNOT RUN FROM OUR FATE!"

"THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH! SAVE YOURSELVES!!!"

The CDC Director then lit her hair on fire and ran outside and threw herself off a cliff. The media quickly praised her and the Biden administration for their calm, reassuring demeanor.
Nothing says science and instills confidence like a CDC director babbling about FEELINGS of "impending doom."

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