Saturday, June 27, 2009

Mark Sanford Karaoke - Jimmy Fallon

About a week ago, Jimmy Fallon did a comedy bit called "Rush Limbaugh Karaoke."

Like a number of his bits, Fallon gave it a game show format and used audience members. Three audience members performed. The winner was decided based on audience applause.

Last night, Fallon did another version, "Mark Sanford Karaoke."

The lyrics of the songs were taken from the actual e-mails Sanford sent to his mistress. They're all Sanford's own words.

The first song was "I Love Your Tan Lines."

I could digress and say that you
have the ability to give magnificently
gentle kisses, or that
I love your tan lines
or that I love the
curves of your hips,
the erotic beauty of
you holding yourself
(or two magnificent parts of yourself)
in the faded glow of night's light.
But hey,
that would be going into the
sexual details we spoke of
at the steakhouse.

The second song, "A Full Tank of Love":
You have a particular grace
and calm that I adore,
you have a level of sophistication
that is so fitting with your beauty.
You already had a full tank of love
in the emotional bank account.
I better stop now lest this really start
sounding like The Thornbirds -
wherein I was always upset
with Richard Chamberlain
for not dropping his ambitions and
running into Maggie's arms.

And the third song, "The Special Nature of Your Soul":
My love,
Have been having a few
email problems
as I am getting email
through an aircard
at the farm,
where access to computer world
is more than tough.
Have you been told
how warm your eyes are and
how they softly glow with the
special nature
of your soul?
Please let me know
if you have gotten
my last two emails.

I think Jimmy Fallon should try doing "Joe Biden Karaoke," or "Rahm Emanuel karaoke," or "Barack Obama Karaoke."

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