It won't be much longer. Soon the NBC late night shake-up will settle down. Let the chips will fall where they may.
Personally, if NBC is giving Conan O'Brien the boot, I'd like to see David Letterman off the air and Conan in his place.
On Thursday, before the jokes, Conan performed his "string dance." Then, it was monologue time.
Transcript
CONAN O'BRIEN: Hello there. I'm Conan O'Brien -- NBC's Employee of the Month. Yeah, crazy around here.
ANDY RICHTER: Free soup down at the commissary.
O'BRIEN: Oh, yeah. It's big. You know, of course, everybody knows NBC and I are having a little tiff right now. Yeah, little lovers' quarrel, if you will.
Now there's a rumor, this came out today, there's a rumor that NBC is so upset with me they want to keep me off the air for three years. That's what they say. Yeah, my response to that is if NBC doesn't want people to see me, just leave me on NBC. It's perfect. It's like I'll be in the witness protection program.
Time sure does fly though. It's crazy to think about this. Do you realize that a baby born on the day we did our first Tonight Show is now a slightly larger baby? Still can't walk, a little harder to hold now.
RICHTER: When you put it like that it really... Well, it doesn't make you think.
O'BRIEN: No, no. Now my future is, well, it's pretty uncertain right now. And this is absolutely true, I'm not making this up: I received a letter from the adult film company, Pink Visual, offering me, this is true, offering me a role in one of their porno movies. That's true. That's absolutely true. Absolutely true. Yeah. It's great. Yeah, in the movie I'd be having sex with a beautiful woman and just as we're about to climax, I get replaced by Jay Leno... I don't even want to think about that.
But all joking aside, I really do consider myself a very lucky person. I do. No matter what happens, it's been a real honor to sit in the same chair as Steve Allen, Jack Paar, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, and Jay Leno.
Well, enough about me, enough about me. I'm getting tired of it.
After just a few jokes on other topics, Conan returned to the NBC matter.
He showed an NBC promo for programs replacing the cancelled Jay Leno Show at 10:00 PM, including Baby Picks the YouTube Clip, Monkey Picks the YouTube Clip, and Rock with a Laugh Track.
Video here.
Then, he revisited the porn movie offer he received.
O'BRIEN: Now I mentioned this before. I'm not making it up. It's absolutely true. A porno company called Pink Visual has made a formal offer to me to take the lead role, the lead role, in a porno film about my situation with NBC. This is a real story. I am considering it. I absolutely, I am considering it. Yes I am. I gotta work.
RICHTER: Conan, you think you'll need anyone to announce you?
O'BRIEN: Yes, I will. You're coming with me. You're coming with me to PornoLand, Andy....
Anyway, I really am considering this. And, in fact, I've come up with some possible titles for my first porno. Yeah, and I'd like to try them out on you. Take a look.Crammin' O'Brien
Coo-coo for Coco's Puffs
Two Hosts, One Slot
Conan's Mono Log
Chin Deep
Conan The Impaler
The Splay Leno Show
Conan Gets The Late Shaft
Carson Daly's Last Ball
Laid Night with Jimmy's Phallus
Changing Time Sluts
In The Rear 3000
Conan the Bangbarian
Andy'll Try Him
NBC Lawyer Gang Bang: The Backend Deals
The Fistahood of the Traveling Timeslots
Thank you. It's gonna be good. Watch for those. I have so many choices! So many choices! I don't know what I'm gonna do!
2 comments:
I see Conan's own HBO show in the making. Imagine the creative license he and his staff would get! Talking about pushing some real boundaries. I like that idea.
He'll land on his feet. I doubt Conan's career will suffer.
This must be really hard on Conan's staff, the families who made the move out to California. People left their friends and relatives. Kids had to change schools. The way I see it, that's the real nightmare in all of this.
Post a Comment