MICHAEL CHE: The pace of this presidency is exhausting. I never thought I'd say this but I'm starting to feel bad for Donald Trump. In just the span of one day, he was in a losing battle with three federal judges, a decorated war hero, and a department store.
Dude, pace yourself. Donald Trump can't keep this up, not with that old, bloated, Kentucky Fried Chicken body. No wonder he's always cranky. He's probably gassy. Plus, now every time he checks the Internet he's got to see pictures of Obama in the Caribbean getting his groove back. Look at Obama, Obama's all tan, getting henna tattoos. Meanwhile, Trump is force-smiling through a thirty second handshake with the prime minister of Japan, like, 'What the eff am I doing here?'
It's sad, man. I hope he quits. I mean, Donald, is this really how you want to spend the last two years of your life?