Jimmy Fallon: Republican Debate Jokes

JIMMY FALLON: During the GOP debate, Ben Carson was asked what his greatest weakness is, and he said that he couldn't see himself as president until people asked him to run. He also couldn't see himself as president because he never opens his eyes.

And Carly Fiorina said that after the previous debate people told her that she needed to smile more. They were like, 'Just pretend you're laying off a bunch of people.'

In his closing comments, Rand Paul said that he is running to create a government so small that you can barely see it. Paul said it would be modeled after his presidential campaign.

One of the big moments from the debate came when a moderator asked what the government should do about online gambling and fantasy football. Check out what Chris Christie had to say:

[Clip]

CHRIS CHRISTIE: Wait a second. We have nineteen trillion dollars in debt, we have people out of work, we have ISIS and al Qaeda attacking us, and we're talking about fantasy football?

[End clip]

FALLON: I loved it. I loved it. Spoken like a guy who's definitely in last place in his fantasy football league. 'I should've never traded Romo!'

And in the early debate last night, Bobby Jindal was asked what smartphone apps he uses and Jindal admitted that he still uses a BlackBerry. Even BlackBerry was like, 'Bobby Jindal is still around?'

Bobby Jindal: Investigate Planned Parenthood

Thank you, Governor Bobby Jindal.

From the Times-Picayune:

Gov. Bobby Jindal on Tuesday announced he's directed the Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals to investigate Planned Parenthood activities in the state after a video surfaced that claims the organization is selling fetal body parts.

...Here's Jindal's complete statement on the investigation:

"Today's video of a Planned Parenthood official discussing the systematic harvesting and trafficking of human body parts is shocking and gruesome. This same organization is seeking to open an abortion clinic in New Orleans. I have instructed Louisiana's Department of Health and Hospitals to conduct an immediate investigation into this alleged evil and illegal activity and to not issue any licenses until this investigation is complete. I am also asking the FBI to assist DHH in investigating this alleged criminal activity by this organization."

Mark Pocan: Rubio - Ricky Ricardo, Fiona - Cruella De Vil

Over the weekend at the state's Dem party convention, Mark Pocan, DEMOCRAT Congressman from Wisconsin, attacked Republican 2016 presidential candidates by making some really childish and somewhat offensive remarks.

In his little routine, Pocan was casting a House of Cards series.

Here's video:



Transcript, from The Weekly Standard:

MARK POCAN: The GOP primary field is turning into quite a circus. In fact, it is going to be so entertaining, in fact, I hear that Netflix is going to create a House of Cards special series just on the 2016 primary. It's going to be called 'House of Cards: Jokers Gone Wild.' Now, I've actually been leaked a casting presentation from the producers that I could share with you tonight if you’d like to see it, would you like that?

Alright, let's, if we could, our first one, Kevin from The Office as Governor Mike Huckabee. Next, Will Ferrell from The Campaign as Governor Rick Perry, but now, don't forget, you got to put glasses on him because now he's smart. Next, Grandpa Munster as Senator Ted Cruz. That is really, really, scarily, eerily similar. Ricky Ricardo from I Love Lucy as Senator Marco Rubio. Cruella de Vil as Carly Fiorina. Will Ferrell in a second role as Senator Paul Rand. All right. George W. Bush as Governor Jeb Bush as George W. Bush. Alfred E. Neuman as Senator Lindsey Graham. Oh, now that's not nice, Jabba the Hutt as Governor Chris Christie. Who put that in there? Who put that in there? That's just not nice. Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock as Governor Bobby Jindal, and finally a pair of flip-flops as Governor Scott Walker.

How buffoonish!

Pocan made a fool of himself.

Who is "Senator Paul Rand"?

Do you think a Republican could get away with mocking a Cuban-American Democrat candidate by calling him Ricky Ricardo?

If a Republican called a female Dem candidate Cruella de Vil, the Democrat War on Women brigade would be outraged and having a fit.

Apparently, Pocan was auditioning for the role as biggest buffoon in Wisconsin's Democrat congressional contingent. He's giving Gwen Moore a run for her money.



As bad as Pocan's remarks were, I think Gwen still holds the title.