Friday, July 11, 2008

Conan O'Brien and Jesse Jackson

Regarding the infamous Jesse Jackson hot mic incident, you've heard this from Bill O'Reilly:

We held back some of this conversation... we didn't feel it had any relevance to the conversation this evening. We are not out to get Jesse Jackson. We are not out to embarrass him and we are not out to make him look bad. If we were, we would have used what we had, which is more damaging than what you have heard.

Last night, Conan O'Brien showed the "nuts off" footage that has been seen everywhere.
O'BRIEN: Well, everyone's shocked by that, but what's really incredible is that FOX News says that there's more footage of Jesse Jackson, that apparently he talked for a while and the other footage is even more embarrassing. I think we're the first show to break this. Take a look.

(Air tape.)

JACKSON: See, Barack been, um, talking down to black people about this faith based... I wanna cut his nuts off.

I'm gonna take some cutting tools to his family jewels.

I want him to say ouch when I deflate his pouch.

I'll show no restraint to that which hangs above his taint.

It's twice as zesty when I remove the testes.

I have no preference for his vas deferens.

Here's one I’m still working on: When I see Obama it's a drag... something something to his pastry bag.

(End tape.)

O’BRIEN: Alright, well uh, quite an amazing show tonight...

Yes, I would agree that is more damaging than what we've heard. Very disturbing. Very disturbing indeed.

You can watch the segment here.


UPDATE, July 11, 2008: Conan reveals more Jesse Jackson footage.
JACKSON: When I see that scrotum I'm gonna demote 'em.

I'm gonna pull a Sweeney Todd on that which dangles below his rod.

You like limericks?

There once was a cat named Barack
Whose faith-based initiative was wack
He says "Yes we can"
But he'll be half a man
When I'm done melonballing his sack.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting this. One of the funnier things I've seen in a while!

Anonymous said...

I have uncovered a few more comments from the unreleased video of the Jackson "hot mic"

"I will make parolees of his kahonies"

"No more hanging chads after balloting his nads"

"Nothing will be satisfactory until I close his yogurt factory"

"I will not rest until I carries his giggleberries"

Mary said...

Conan's Jesse Jackson bit is hilarious.

Jesse Jackson does have a way with words that is uniquely his.

The rhyming possibilities are endless.

The WordSmith from Nantucket said...

someone should make a generator, so you can write in your own captions

Mary said...

Good idea!