Letterman Bashes McCain, September 25

David Letterman really, REALLY holds a grudge.

It was Night II of the Letterman hissy fit over John McCain's cancellation on September 24.

Watch video.

Transcript

DAVID LETTERMAN: Last night, here's the deal. We do this little TV show every night right here on CBS. And what we do, you see these chairs right here? That's because we like to have folks come out and visit. And one of the people who was gonna visit with us last night was Sen. John McCain.

What a tremendous hero, what a great American John McCain is. Unquestionably, as President Clinton said earlier in the week, gave almost everything but his life for this country, and a tremendous hero, and a tremendous role model. And he was supposed to be on the show.

So, at the last minute he calls up and he says, (wimpy voice) 'Uh, I can't make it.'

(Laughter)

'I can't make it.'

And I said, I said, 'What is the... what is the problem?'

He said, 'Well, the economy...' He said, 'The economy is about to crater.'

And first of all, I'd never heard that expression. I loved it. I mean, I know that's not a good thing, but I love the expression: The economy is about to crater.

Yeah. 'My, my marriage is about to crater.' I, I just... I mean, you can invoke that 'about to crater' right across the board. So, I thought, 'Whoa, that's pretty good.' He's not here, but I got a new word.

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LETTERMAN: And I don't know if you folks regularly get calls from United States senators, but I'm tellin' you, you feel like you've been deputized.

And so he says, 'I have to... He says, 'I have to race back to Washington, D.C., the nation's capital...'

I said, 'I know. I know that, Senator. I know.'

PAUL SHAFFER: Well, he didn't know exactly who he was dealing with.

LETTERMAN: How dumb do I look?

He says, 'I have to race back because the economy is about to crater.'

And of course, right away I say, 'Whatever you need to do,' because am I going to be the reason people are standing in bread lines? No.

SHAFFER: Of course not. No. Let him go.

LETTERMAN: 'Well, we'd have saved it but I had to go on Letterman's show. Everything would have been fine, but he wouldn't let me out of the gig.'

SHAFFER: No, no, no. You've got to...

LETTERMAN: 'That's why it cratered. It's Letterman's fault. There he is. Get him!'

So, I don't need that.

(Applause)

SHAFFER: That's why it cratered. The economy cratered.

LETTERMAN: So, I'm scared. I'm starting to tremble a little bit because he said, 'I've got to race back to Washington, D.C.'

And I thought, 'Holy gosh,' and I hung up the phone and I said to the staff that had gathered at my feet...

SHAFFER: Yes.

(Laughter, applause)

SHAFFER: As they do, As they are wont to do...

LETTERMAN: Waiting for words of reassurance from me...

SHAFFER: Yes, as they do...

LETTERMAN: It was Shecky's idea. And, and, and, and so, and so he says, 'Everything's fine. Don't worry about it.' The Senator is on his way back to take care of the economy.

So, so, not only did he not go back right away, he stopped in to see Katie Couric on his way out.

SHAFFER: That's what we hear. Yeah.

LETTERMAN: And then OK, we looked at it. We said, 'OK, well I understand, that that's news and this is nonsense.'

SHAFFER: Yeah, right.

LETTERMAN: OK. But then... then after Katie Couric, wham-o, right to the airport...

SHAFFER: I'm sure he did.

LETTERMAN: No, no.

SHAFFER: He didn't. He didn't?

LETTERMAN: So we find out today he didn't really leave till this morning.

SHAFFER: Didn't go till this morning...

(Audience groans)

LETTERMAN: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

So, what we learned now is the economy held on long enough, just barely held on long enough, for him to get back there. Whereas you can see, twenty-four hours ago, I felt like a patriot. I felt like I was helping out. I felt like I was doing my part, part of the cause, fighting the fight; not part of the problem. I was part of the solution. I was gonna help in my own little way get this economy out of a crater.

SHAFFER: You had. Yeah...

LETTERMAN: Yeah.

SHAFFER: Well, stop it from cratering.

LETTERMAN: Right. Exactly. And now, I'm just, I'm just feeling like a, a, an ugly date.

(Laughter)

That's what I feel like. I feel like an ugly date.

(Applause)

I feel used. I feel cheap. I feel sullied. I feel cratered.

(Applause)

I don't know.

But honest to God, it's like you're getting a call from Superman. It's like you're getting a call Batman.

'Love to talk. Gotta go, Dave. Gotham is about to go belly up.'

'Whoa. OK. Do what you need to do, and call me when you can.'

Well, no, you know. It's like he stopped off and had a facial.
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LETTERMAN: And, and now, what I'm gonna do is divulge part of the private conversation that I think is national security; I think comes under the heading of national security, and I know I'm gonna be investigated, and I don't care.

Investigate me. Go on.

(Applause)

He said to me on the phone, he said, 'I think people would rather see Sarah Palin, so I maybe I'll get her for you next time.'

So now, one: Suggesting there might be a next time. And I'm not, I'm not sure that decision is his.

(Laughter)

And, and two: That maybe if there is he will bring Sarah Palin, or she will come in his place. Either one would be fine. We'd love to have Sarah Palin on this program. Yeah, so we'll just now wait and see.

Is he a man of his word or not?

(Groans, then applause)

Because it's no secret, when you rub me the wrong way, you have rubbed a guy the wrong way.

Letterman is pushing this way too far.

Asking of McCain, "Is he a man of his word or not?"

This taunting is really out of line.

I'm sure Obama supporters, and Leftists in general are loving it, but this all reflects so poorly on Letterman. It plays into the perception of the media and the Hollywood and entertainment elite as being propagandists spewing anti-McCain vitriol.

If Obama had cancelled an appearance, would Letterman be devoting his show to payback?

Letterman is crazed. It's uncomfortable to watch.

He tries to cover his ass by saying what a great hero and role model John McCain is. Those words are completely empty.

If Letterman thinks of McCain as such a "tremendous hero," why is Letterman treating him like dirt?

If Letterman thinks of McCain as such a "tremendous role model," why is he attacking him as a man of questionable honor?

I suppose since CBS couldn't try the phony National Guard documents with McCain, Letterman has been dispatched to do the network's smearing to influence the election.

It's pathetic, and downright bizarre.

Letterman has always shown that he has a mean streak, but he's had moments of integrity.

I am seeing no integrity now. Zero.

In sum, Letterman cratered. (I love that expression!)
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