SNL: Palin-Biden Debate

It's no surprise that the opening of Saturday Night Live was devoted to the vice presidential debate.

Queen Latifah played Gwen Ifill. There were two brief references to Ifill's conflict of interest in the debate -- her new book, The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama.

As usual, Tina Fey was Sarah Palin. Jason Sudeikis played Joe Biden.

When it came to Fey as Palin, it was the same old, same old.

FINALLY, SNL gave Biden some attention. Of course, there was no way to avoid it this week.

Sudeikis was very funny as Biden.

It was obvious that the jokes at Biden's expense had very little to do with the issues or his qualifications to be vice president. In fact, Biden's lines included actual attacks on McCain. I would have liked to see some jokes about Biden as a serial liar and Biden's freakish, frozen, creaseless forehead. Sudeikis' Biden didn't smirk much or sigh condescendingly, though he was portrayed as an arrogant jerk and a slick politician.

Palin, naturally, was targeted on the issues as well as her personality and qualifications.

Palin came off worse. I was shocked. SHOCKED!

Of course, Fey was doing her now familiar shtick. Winking was the only addition to her Palin repertoire.

Video.



Transcript excerpts:

GWEN IFILL: As moderator, I will not ask any follow-up questions beyond, 'Do you agree?' or 'Your response' so as not to appear biased for Barack Obama in light of my new book,The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama, coming out on Inauguration Day and available for pre-order on Amazon.com. And finally, we would like to remind our audience that due to the historically low expectations for Gov. Palin, were she simply to do an adequate job tonight, and at no point cry, faint, run out of the building, or vomit, you should consider the debate a tie.

...Sen Biden, how as vice president would you work to shrink the gap of polarization that has sprung up in Washington?

JOE BIDEN:Well, I would do what I've done my whole career, whether it's been dealing with violence against women or putting 100,000 police officers in the streets. I would reach across the aisle like I've done with so many members of the other party, members like John McCain. Because look, I love John McCain. He is one of my dearest friends. But at the same time, he's also dangerously unbalanced. I mean, let's be frank: John McCain, and again, this is a man I would take a bullet for, is bad at his job and mentally unstable. As my mother would say, 'God love him, but he's a raging maniac,' and a dear, dear friend.

IFILL: Gov. Palin, how will your administration deal with the current financial crisis?

SARAH PALIN: Well first of all, let me say how nice it is to meet Joe Biden. And may I say, up close, your hair plugs don't look nearly as bad as everyone says. Ya know, John McCain and I, we're a couple of mavericks. And gosh darn it, we're gonna take that maverick energy right to Washington and we're gonna use it to fix this financial crisis and everything else that's plaguin' this great country of ours.

IFILL: How will you solve the financial crisis being a maverick?

PALIN:Ya know, we're gonna take every aspect of the crisis and look at it, and then we're gonna ask ourselves, 'What would a maverick do in this situation?' And then, ya know, we'll do that.

IFILL: Sen. Biden, how would your administration address the current financial crisis?

BIDEN: Barack Obama and I understand that we need to regulate Wall Street. John McCain voted against Wall Street regulation 41 times. Let me repeat that: 41 times. And again, this is a man I love. If I had to spend the rest of my life on a desert island with only one other person, it would be John McCain. No doubt about it. I mean, you should see the way my face lights up when he walks into a room. But the fact is John McCain has voted with George Bush 90 percent of the time. Let me say that again: Time.

IFILL: Gov. Palin, would you like to respond to Sen. Biden's comments about John McCain?

PALIN: No, thank you. But I would like to talk about being an outsider. Ya see, while Sen. Biden has been in Washington all these years, I've been with regular people -- hockey moms, and Joe Six-packs. And I'd also like to give a shout-out to the third-graders of Gladys Woods Elementary who were so helpful to me in my debate prep. (Wink) Also, too, ya see, I think a little differently from an insider. I don't think it's patriotic to pay more taxes. I don't think it's patriotic to criticize these wars we got goin' on. I do think it's patriotic to tell the government, 'Hey, get out of my way. Stop tryin' to impose on my right to shoot wolves from a helicopter.' But a Washington insider like Joe Biden probably disagrees.

BIDEN: You know, I get a little tired of being told I'm an insider. I come from Scranton, Pennsylvania, and that's as hard scrabble a place as you're gonna find. I'll show you around some time and you'll see. It's a hellhole, an absolute jerkwater of a town. You couldn't stand to spend a weekend there. It's just an awful, awful sad place, filled with sad, desperate people with no ambition. Nobody, I mean nobody, but me has ever come out of that place. It's a genetic cesspool. Don't be telling me that I'm part of the Washington elite because I come from the absolute worst place on earth -- Scranton, Pennsylvania. And Wilmington, Delaware is not much better.

IFILL: Sen. Palin, address your position on global warming, and whether or not you think it's manmade or not.

PALIN: Gwen, we don't know if this climate change who-zy, what-zit is manmade or if it's just a natural part of the End of Days. But I'm not gonna talk about that. I would like to talk about taxes because with Barack Obama you're gonna be payin' higher taxes, but not with me and my fellow maverick. We are not afraid to get mavericky in there and ruffle feathers and not... got... to allow that. And also too, the great Ronald Reagan.

IFILL: Next question is for you, Sen. Biden. Do you support, as they do in Alaska, granting same-sex benefits for couples?

BIDEN: I do. In an Obama-Biden administration, same-sex couples would be guaranteed the same property rights, rights to insurance, and rights of ownership as heterosexual couples. There will be no distinction. I repeat, no distinction.

IFILL: So to clarify, do you support gay marriage, Sen. Biden?

BIDEN: Absolutely not. But I do think they should be allowed to visit one another in a hospital. And in a lot of ways, that's just as good, if not better.

IFILL: Gov. Palin, would you extend same-sex rights to the entire country.

PALIN: Ya know, I would be afraid of where that would lead. I believe marriage is meant to be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers. But don't think I don't tolerate gay people, because I do. I tolerate them with all my heart. And I know quite a few, too. Not personally, but I know of them. I've seen Ellen. Oh, and there was this one girl on my college basketball team. She wasn't officially a gay but, ya know, we were pretty sure.

IFILL: Gov. Palin, was is your position on health care regulation?

PALIN: I'm gonna ignore that question and instead talk about Israel. I love Israel so much. Bless its heart. There's a special place for Israel in heaven. And I know some people are gonna say that I'm only sayin' that to pander to Florida voters, but from a very young age, my two greatest loves were always Jews and Cuban food.

IFILL: I would now like to give each of you a chance to make a closing statement.

PALIN: Are we not doin' the talent portion? (Plays flute)

IFILL: Sen. Biden, your closing statement?

BIDEN: My goal tonight was a simple one: To come up here and at no point seem like a condescending, egomaniacal bully. And I'm gonna be honest, I think I nailed it. Sure, there were moments when I wanted to say, 'Hey, this lady's a dummy.' But I didn't, because Joe Biden is better than that. I repeat, Joe Biden is better than THAT. (Points at Palin.) So to all the pundits who said I would seem cocky or arrogant: You dopes got schooled Biden-style.

IFILL: Gov. Palin...

PALIN: I liked being here tonight answering these tough questions without the filter of the mainstream 'gotcha' media, with their follow-up questions, fact-checking, or incessant need to figure out what your words mean and why you put 'em in that order. I'm happy to be speaking directly to the American people to let them know if you want an outsider who doesn't like politics as usual or pronouncing the 'G' at the end of the words she's sayin' I think you know who to vote for. Oh, and for those Joe Six-packs out there playin' a drinkin' game at home: Maverick. (Pretends to pop open a beer and drink)

It was a funny skit, but it wasn't balanced.

There was no mocking of Biden's faith or his children.

Throughout, Queen Latifah as Ifill smirked at Palin's answers and used no such facial expressions when Biden spoke.

Amazingly, I don't think the show included any jokes about McCain's age. I can't recall any.

It's not amazing at all that absolutely no joke was made at the expense of Barack Obama.