Letterman, Sarah Palin: Apology? (Video)

David Letterman addressed the firestorm of criticism he's received for his tasteless, offensive, disgusting "jokes" about Sarah Palin and her 14-year-old daughter, Willow.

He didn't really apologize at all. He denied. He clarified, and his clarification was often in a mocking, condescending manner.

He retold the "jokes."

The audience responded with laughter and extended applause.

Letterman insisted the "joke" about Palin's daughter had nothing to do with her 14-year-old daughter.

That, of course, doesn't make sense. Palin went to the Yankee game with her 14-year-old daughter, Willow. She didn't go with her 18-year-old daughter, Bristol.

I suppose CBS was bombarded with tons of negative reaction to Letterman's horrible jokes. Letterman probably felt forced to explain himself, especially given the sensitive nature of the subject matter.

It's not cool for old man Letterman to be talking about a teenage girl, daughter of the governor of Alaska, getting knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.

It is awful timing to have this sort of controversy when he's going up against Conan O'Brien as the new host of the Tonight Show.

Transcript

DAVID LETTERMAN:

This will take some time so I hope you're comfortable at home. Think about what's happened here in the last couple of days. And if you think you'd like to get yourself a talk show... (Smirks, chuckles).

We were, as we often do, making jokes about people in the news, and we made some jokes about Sarah Palin and, uh, her, uh, daughter, the 18-year-old girl, who is, uh, her name is, uh, Bristol, that's right. And uh, so then, now they're upset with me. Let me read you how upset they are because I didn't realize this till today.

And keep in mind I can't really defend these. They're just jokes. And it's like with everything. Some jokes are fine. Some jokes are not fine. And, you know, of course we make mistakes left and right. But listen to how upset these people are about the jokes. And when I say 'these people' I mean Gov. Palin and her husband, Todd.

This is on their official website. I gotta get me one of them websites.

The Governor's spokeswoman Meg Stapleton sent these two statements, the first from Todd. Todd is the Governor's husband in Alaska. And Todd says, "Any 'jokes' about raping my 14-year-old are despicable. Alaskans know it and I believe the rest of the world knows it, too." (Mugs and smirks)

Yeah, think about getting yourself a talk show.

Uh, the next statement is actually from the Governor herself, who by the way is an absolutely lovely woman. I would love, I would love to have her on the show. I think we can put these differences behind us.

The next comment comes from Gov. Palin: "Concerning Letterman's comments about my young daughter (and I doubt he'd ever dare make such comments about anyone else's daughter): 'Laughter incited by sexually-perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity...'

I am hardly a celebrity. I'm 62. Yes. (Laughter and applause)

'...aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/NY entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands - that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone's daughter, contribute to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others.'"

(Laughter and groans)

I completely agree with that, absolutely completely agree with that. That's not what I did.

Here now are the jokes that they're upset about.

(Applause)

You know, this very well could be my last show. (Laughter) I don't know why we all find that amusing.

OK, this is the joke. Now, it all happened because Sarah Palin was visiting New York City. And she was in town with her daughter and her husband, Todd. They were doing stuff. They were at a Yankee game.

OK, here's the jokes: "Sarah Palin was in New York this week. The hardest part of the trip was keeping Eliot Spitzer away from her daughter."

(Laughter)

Now that's... I'm surprised we haven't heard from Eliot Spitzer either.

Now, I'm not necessarily proud of these jokes. I mean, we do stuff all the time, and our objective here is to get a laugh. And thank God, you know, we don't have to go to the Hague and before the World Court to defend them. It's a joke. That's all it's supposed to be. That's what this is.

Now here's the other joke they're upset about: "Sarah Palin went to a Yankees game yesterday. There was one awkward moment during the 7th inning stretch. Her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez."

(Laughter and applause)

Now, I'm telling you, I recognize that these are ugly. These are actually ugly. These are borderline, but again, in an act of desperation to get cheap laughs, which is what I've been doing for the last 30 years... Why didn't we hear from Alex Rodriguez?

But now, everything the Governor and Todd said I absolutely agree with.

These are not jokes made about her 14-year-old daughter. I would never, never make jokes about raping or having sex of any description with a 14-year-old girl. I mean, look at my record. It has never happened. I don't think it's funny. I would never think it was funny. I wouldn't put it in a joke.

Here's where you draw the line. Yes, maybe these are questionable because the girl, who actually, excuse me, but was knocked up, is now 18-years-old. So the difference there is 14-years-old and of legal age. OK, now I can't really defend the joke. I agree... unpleasant, ugly. But I would never, never think that it was funny to use a 14-year-old girl as a joke like this, for God's sakes.

Now, here's the other joke they're upset about: (Laughter and applause)

"Top Ten... This is a Top Ten. The category: Top Ten Highlights of Sarah Palin's Trip to New York... Number 2. Bought makeup at Bloomingdale's to update her 'slutty flight attendant' look."

(Laughter and applause)

Now, the only thing I can say about this is I kinda like that joke.

So, summing up now... And I'm gonna ask questions and then answer them.

Were the jokes in question in questionable taste? Of course they were.

Do I regret having told them? Well, I think probably I do. But you know what? There are thousands of jokes I regret telling on this program.

Would I do anything to advocate or contribute to underage sexual abuse or misconduct? Absolutely not, not in a thousand years. Look at me. Do I look like I'm trying to make trouble? No, no, no.

So, with that in mind, Gov. Palin, if you're watching (Pause), I would like you to consider coming to New York City, you and Todd as my guests, or leave Todd at home (Applause). I'd love to have you on the show, be exciting.

So there. I hope I've cleared part of this up.

Am I guilty of poor taste? Yes.

Did I suggest that it was OK for her 14-year-old daughter to be having promiscuous sex? No. (Smirk)

Maybe it wasn't intentional. Maybe Letterman's writers were too stupid to check their facts.

BUT-- Letterman was taking a story out of the news and using it for a joke. Willow Palin, 14, was at the game, not Bristol, 18. It's completely understandable that people would assume Letterman's tasteless "joke" was referencing the Palin daughter who was at the game. Letterman never said he was referring to Bristol.

I believe it's possible that Letterman and his writers didn't know what they were doing.

It's also possible that Letterman is just engaging in CYA, but not too much. Letterman didn't back down. He didn't apologize for making such crude jokes at the expense of the children of the Governor of Alaska.

He never talked about mistaking the 14-year-old for the 18-year-old.

Letterman didn't take any responsibility.

He acted as if he had been judged unfairly.

Letterman even joked about the controversy in his monologue, continuing to needle Sarah Palin. He was hardly remorseful. He just seemed to want to try to clear his name. I bet Letterman was really pissed off about the charges made by Gov. Palin and her husband, Todd.

Letterman wasn't apologetic. He was defensive.

Whatever the case may be, whether he's being honest or not, I think there's some justice here in that Letterman's hate and cruelty toward Sarah Palin and her family has come back to bite him, hard.

Then again, Letterman could be enjoying this. This controversy might boost his ratings. However, that would only be temporary.

Letterman continues to do damage to himself. He seems very stubborn. He's not funny anymore. His ugly and demeaning jokes overshadow any bits of witty, enjoyable material. He's bitter and twisted. If he has always been like that, I didn't recognize it years ago. I think he's changed.

It's actually sad in a way. Pathetic.

Video.


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UPDATE, June 11, 2009: ABC News -- Gov. Palin pushed back at Letterman again this morning, issuing a statement via Palin PAC spokesperson Meghan Stapelton.

"The Palins have no intention of providing a ratings boost for David Letterman by appearing on his show," Stapelton said in an email to ABC News. "Plus, it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman."