TSA Jokes - Jimmy Fallon

JIMMY FALLON: The TSA has issued some special holiday-themed packing tips for travelers before Thanksgiving weekend. They say not to bring food, sharp tools, or any shred of dignity.

The TSA has special holiday-themed packing tips. Of course, I'm wary of any packing techniques that include the note: 'Tuck it to the left.'

TSA Jokes - Jay Leno

JAY LENO: A three-hour delay reported at LAX today - not holiday traffic. Apparently, another fat guy got stuck in the full body scanner.

And former Tea Party candidate Christine O'Donnell, remember her? Well, she's speaking out against the TSA's new invasive pat-down technique. Today she said, 'Forget TSA. I don't even touch my own junk.'

You know what? Interesting, have you noticed on the news that most of the refusals for the pat-downs have been from men? And of course, see, the women love this. Finally, men get to see what it's like to be groped by someone who won't take no for an answer.

Leno: TSA Jokes

JAY LENO: Well, folks, you can tell Thanksgiving is almost here. It's in the air. I was over at Burbank airport and you could tell it's Thanksgiving. I saw a TSA agent probing a guy with a turkey baster.

Have you heard the TSA's new slogan? 'We handle more junk than eBay.'

Finally, the TSA is saying they will allow pilots to pass through security a lot easier than before. See, I don't think you have to pat down the pilot, right? You don't have to have him go through the body scanner. You know, I'm happy the pilot just passes the breathalyzer.

In fact, a lot of politicians are weighing in on this. Hillary Clinton said on some of the Sunday talk shows, she told Bob Schieffer on CBS that she would not submit to a pat-down, to which Bill Clinton said, 'Tell me about it.'

SNL: TSA Jokes

Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update" began with a burst of jokes about the TSA and the new aggressive search policies.

SETH MEYERS: This year marks the first Thanksgiving in which travelers will get molested before they get to their uncle's house.

'Has anyone handled your bags?' 'Yes. You. Right now.'

You know if I wanted somebody half-heartedly patting my groin without eye contact, I'd get married.

The TSA did say Tuesday that children going through airport security will no longer be subject to the aggressive pat-downs that have angered many adult passengers. Said terrorists, 'Loophole!'

Leno: Favre and Airport Body Scanners

JAY LENO: A lot of controversy over the new body scanning machines at the airport. This has been on the news all day today. People say they invade their privacy.

Have you seen the images? Have you seen it?

They are so graphic today Brett Favre texted one to a female reporter.