Thursday, February 18, 2016

Leno: Hillary and Sanders Jokes, Ted Cruz Joke

Jay Leno helped Jimmy Fallon out with his monologue on Wednesday night. It's a routine they've done before, Fallon getting injured and needing a sub with Jay Leno tagging in.

With Fallon in Los Angeles this week, it was fitting that Leno would make an appearance.

Whenever Leno does a segment of Fallon's monologue, I realize just how terribly out of political balance Fallon's monologue is.

It was great to hear some hard-hitting jokes at the Democrats' expense.

JAY LENO: I got my first robocall this week. It said, 'Hi, this is Bill Clinton. Can Hillary count on you?' Count on me? She can't even count on Bill. Don't drag me into your marital problems, pal.

And this email problem continues to dog Hillary, but she says, 'It's just an honest mistake.' Did you ever notice the only time people want you to know they're honest is when they make a mistake? Why is that?

But, Hillary says she has been tested. Well, I hope so. You never know what Bill might bring home.

After his big win in New Hampshire, they say Hillary's team is trying to dig up dirt on Bernie Sanders. Do you know what they call someone who digs up dirt on Bernie Sanders? An archaeologist.

But, the big decision for Sanders will be picking a vice president. It's important because whoever he chooses is just a prostate away from being the next president of the United States.

Leno then turned to the Republicans.

JAY LENO: Let me ask you something. What is going on with the Republicans? I watch these debates. Trump attacks Cruz. Rubio goes after Bush. Bush gets in a fight with Trump. Remember the good old day when the Republicans were all united against the poor and the minorities? What happened?

And Ted Cruz, did you hear about this? Oh, boy. Ted Cruz's campaign pulled one of their TV commercials because the actress in the ad was a porn star. The campaign said they hired the porn star because they thought she could make Ted Cruz easier to swallow.

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