JAY LENO: Kind of a rough day today, kind of a rough day. A friend of mine was given six months by his doctor... not to live, to sign up for ObamaCare. It took six months.______________
I gotta admit I don't quite understand how the whole ObamaCare thing works. Like the other day, I got a flu shot, but it was from a drone... like they're combining different elements of the government.
The president spoke today about it, regarding the ObamaCare website glitches. The president says he's bringing in the best and the brightest to solve the problem. Here's my [question]: Why didn't we bring in the best and the brightest in the first place? This is typical Washington. They only bring in the best and the brightest as a last resort.
And you know what's gonna happen once they bring in the best and the brightest -- more American jobs lost to India.
The president was very blunt this afternoon. He said there was no sugar-coating the problems with the health care website. See, that's a mistake. We're Americans. We love sugar-coating. If you sugar-coat something, Americans will buy it. The more sugar the better. In fact, sugar is the reason we have ObamaCare in the first place. If it wasn't for sugar, we wouldn't need any of this crap.
ObamaCare jokes from Tuesday's Tonight Show monologue here.
ObamaCare jokes from Wednesday's Tonight Show monologue here.
ObamaCare jokes from Thursday's Tonight Show monologue here.