Joe Halderman Pleads Guilty

Back in October, David Letterman told the nation that he was guilty and apologized for his behavior.

Now, Joe Halderman has done the same.

The difference: What Halderman did was criminal. He's going to jail for six months and has to do 1,000 hours of community service.

NEW YORK (AP) -- From the start, David Letterman made sure the story of a $2 million shakedown attempt over his sex life was one he narrated himself.

It was the comic, not prosecutors, who broke the news of the case, which spurred him last fall to acknowledge affairs with women on his staff.

After former television producer Robert "Joe" Halderman pleaded guilty Tuesday to a blackmail attempt driven by debt and jealousy, Letterman seized the moment again. The late-night icon's lawyers were at the courthouse with a statement from him, and he weighed in on his show with praise for prosecutors and police.

"It was handled professionally, skillfully and appropriately," he said.

Letterman may be hoping the same is said of his own handling of the case, which at first dealt a blow to his image as a nice guy, if perhaps a little cranky.

Halderman, 52, pleaded guilty to attempted grand larceny, acknowledging he threatened to destroy Letterman reputation by airing his workplace dalliances—using information authorities have said Halderman mined from the diary of a former girlfriend who had a relationship with Letterman.

The plea deal spares Halderman a potential 15 years in prison had he been convicted. He is due instead to get a six-month jail sentence and 1,000 hours of community service.

"I attempted to extort $2 million from David Letterman by threatening to disclose personal and private information about him, whether true or false," he said in court Tuesday, apologizing to his ex-girlfriend and Letterman.

"I feel great remorse for what I have done," he said.

The plea also spares Letterman the prospect of a trial that could have put his private life on display, though he defused much of Halderman's potential bombshell last fall by revealing his affairs.

...Defense attorney Gerald Shargel said Tuesday that Halderman "was both jealous and enraged" and under financial pressure. Halderman, who made about $214,000 in 2007, was struggling with money in the wake of a divorce, according to court papers filed by his ex-wife's lawyers.

Under the plea agreement, Halderman must give prosecutors all copies of any diary entries, photos, screenplay notes or other materials he has concerning Letterman and must agree never to reveal the contents.

Outside court, Halderman repeated his apologies, declined interviews and said no more. He remains free on bail until his sentencing, set for May 4.

Justice was done.

I wonder if Regina Lasko, Letterman's significant other since 1986, wife since 2009, and mother of Letterman's son, born in 2003, feels good about it.

Now that the extortion case is settled, maybe Letterman and Lasko can have a nice 1st wedding anniversary on March 19.

"Under the plea agreement, Halderman must give prosecutors all copies of any diary entries, photos, screenplay notes or other materials he has concerning Letterman and must agree never to reveal the contents."

What a perfect anniversary gift!

David Letterman and Sarah Palin, February 15

David Letterman still has Sarah Palin on his brain. The man is obsessed with her.

It's among many things that really creep me out about Letterman.

In his monologue, he took a shot at Palin.

DAVID LETTERMAN: You know who was at the Daytona 500? Sarah Palin. Former Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin. She was at the finish line and she waved her checkered past. That's exactly what happened.

Checkered past?

Letterman is joking about Palin's checkered past?

What a hypocritical creep!

I wonder if he's still engaging in his adulterous, lying, sleazy behavior.

Letterman also included a swipe at Palin in his "Top Ten" list.

TOP TEN THINGS GEORGE WASHINGTON WOULD SAY IF HE WERE ALIVE TODAY

10. "Thanks for using my birthday to sell mattresses"

9. "If you think Regis is crazy now, you should have seen him in college"

8. "What the hell is a Lady Gaga?"

7. "I cannot tell a lie -- both my taste buds and my wallet approve of Subway's five-dollar footlong"

6. "Racing elevators seems like a tremendous waste of valuable technology"

5. "Watch out! Runaway Toyota!"

4. "The effects in 'Avatar' are wonderful, but the plot is nothing"

3. "Ever done it with a guy who's on Mt. Rushmore?"

2. "If you elect Sarah Palin, please let me know so I can roll over in my grave"

1. "I cannot tell a lie -- this Top Ten List blows"

Leno: Letterman Joke, January 20

JAY LENO: We've been in the press every day, Kev.

KEVIN EUBANKS: Every day, man.

LENO: And Letterman, Letterman's been hammering me every night.

EUBANKS: I know, that's weird.

LENO: Oh, going after me! Hey Kev, do you know the best way to get Letterman to ignore you?

EUBANKS: What's that?

LENO: Marry him. OK, that's the best way. He will not bother you. He won't look you in the eye. No problem at all.

Top Ten Surprises, Sarah Palin Book

TOP TEN SURPRISES IN THE SARAH PALIN BOOK

10. Cover photo is actually Tina Fey

9. All proceeds from the book go toward a bitchin' new snowmobile

8. Nearly had to pull out of campaign after spraining her winking muscle

7. Not interested in politics, is interested in joining "Dancing with the Stars"

6. Includes fantasy sequence where she beats Katie Couric with her own microphone

5. Someone's got a crush on Jon Gosselin

4. It's a science fiction romance about moody teenage vampires

3. Favorite website: YoubetchaTube

2. Includes Levi Johnston centerfold

1. Even Sarah doesn't know what Todd does

Video.



I guess the upstanding, all-around great guy, husband, and father Letterman decided not to say that 14-year-old Willow Palin was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez while at a Yankee game.

What's funny about this Top Ten list is that Letterman did a version of it in May 2009.

TOP TEN SURPRISES IN THE SARAH PALIN MEMOIR

10. She's already completed her 2012 presidential concession speech

9. Her husband Todd is a person of interest in dozens of unsolved snowmobile hit-and-runs

8. State troopers have been instructed to taser Katie Couric on sight

7. "Memoir" is misspelled

6. Not only can she see Russia, earlier today she saw the astronauts working on Hubble

5. The entire thing, plagiarized word-for-word from Artie Lange's "Too Fat To Fish"

4. Cover shows her in a passionate embrace with a shirtless Fabio

3. Sworn in as Governor with her left hand on a copy of "Guns & Ammo" magazine

2. Claims she had three-way sex with Michael Phelps and a stripper

1. She voted for Obama

"Claims she had three-way sex with Michael Phelps and a stripper"?

Given the revelations about Letterman's sexual romps, that one certainly seems more creepy now.

Jay Leno: Letterman Joke

Jay Leno is showing his one-time rival David Letterman no mercy.

In his monologue on Thursday, Leno once again made reference to Letterman's sex scandal.

JAY LENO: And this whole CBS blackmail scandal has affected everybody in television. Do you know it's now considered sexual harassment if you just ask, 'Who's on Letterman tonight?' That's now considered sexual harassment.

(Cheers, applause)

Confessions of a Letterman Intern

Chris Stigall, Big Hollywood, writes a revealing piece about David Letterman.

As a college student, Stigall interned for Letterman at CBS.

It was a disillusioning experience for him.

David Letterman inspired my broadcasting career. Twenty years ago (when Letterman was at NBC), he was an awkward, self-deprecating guy who wore tennis shoes with his blazer and tie. He was edgy, silly, and unconventional compared to the traditions of variety television at that time. He resonated with an awkward high school kid watching at home in Missouri.

...It took only a few months of my internship to learn a thing about the business of comedy, at least as it relates to Letterman. It was not an epicenter of fun and creativity. Rather, it was an atmosphere of employees who worked for a man many of them never saw and seldom, if ever talked to. Many of his employees seemed to resent his cold distance. He was most certainly guarded and unapproachable. This was not the irreverent showman I came to adore. The wide-eyed enthusiasm I arrived with in New York was quickly dashed.

To be clear, I never witnessed anything inappropriate as it relates to Mr. Letterman. I was not mistreated nor was there any juicy gossip overheard during my stay. The knowledge I came home with regarding Letterman was purely observational. Honest students of “Late Show” and comedy in general have certainly come to the same conclusion. Letterman, we must sadly confess, is seldom funny anymore.

...Letterman’s personal politics have become so strident and hostile in just the last two years, any conservative feels unwelcome to watch. He would regularly pontificate about the war in Iraq. “George Bush is a dumb guy” jokes were told with such frequency it became rote. When candidate John McCain had the “audacity” to cancel a scheduled appearance in 2008, Letterman blasted McCain with both barrels until Election Day. A tasteless shot aimed at Sarah Palin’s daughter seemed to be the joke that broke the audiences’ back. Letterman, after much public outrage, eventually apologized for the remark. Then, the recent hour-long sit down with Barack Obama. It seemed to be the host’s final admission. Dave’s a pundit, not a comic. He’s not interested in entertaining the masses any longer. Just the partisans.

Letterman’s admission of sex with members of his staff and stories of sex in the office dominated his show in the last week. News of his personal life, his humiliated and injured wife, his six year old son, and his beleaguered employees made a once entertaining show of comedy and variety nothing more than a television tabloid. Ratings, while high, weren’t due to the quality of show being produced by the legendary host. America is tuning in to see a famous man’s life crash and burn around him.

David Letterman has, in fact taught this intern something. He is a cautionary tale of the ultimate success story. Success can be achieved through hard work, tenacity, and staying true to your style. Success can also breed complacency. Success can breed arrogance and narcissism that places your personal needs, wants, beliefs, and desires ahead of all others. Success can ultimately be your undoing.

I wish I could have interned for that edgy, Midwestern underdog at NBC.

Stigall makes some insightful conclusions about Letterman's demise.

Letterman may be enjoying high ratings at the moment, but I think those numbers will be fleeting.

Why?

Letterman's not funny.

Robert "Joe" Halderman Speaks to Reporter (Video)

Robert "Joe" Halderman made a very brief on-camera comment to FOX 5 News.



Given the stress that Halderman must be experiencing, he seemed very calm and in control.

There are definitely liars in this drama.

From FOX 5:

David Letterman's former assistant Stephanie Birkitt reportedly wrote the "Late Night" show host "trashy" love letters that sources said would be embarrassing if and when they are made public.

According to New York Daily News sources , the letters, which were never mailed to Letterman, clearly show the two had a sexual relationship. But the letters didn't discuss "crazy sexual escapades."

"It's her musings about them," one source who had seen the letters told the paper. "It's trash."

One of the letters was reportedly delivered to Letterman by Birkitt's ex-boyfriend Robert "Joe" Halderman who has been charged with trying to extort $2 million from Letterman. Sources told the Daily News that Halderman began to suspect Birkitt was sleeping with Letterman in 2007.

Halderman soon began noticing that Letterman was driving out of his way to drop Birkitt off after some shows, the sources added. They said Halderman's suspicions were confirmed when he found the letters. Birkitt moved out shortly thereafter.

Letterman has said that he had affairs with female interns that worked on his show, but they ended before his son Harry was born in 2003.

Shortly after revelations of his affairs, a former intern named Holly Hester said that Letterman kept a secret bedroom above the Ed Sullivan Theater where he would have trysts with women.

Ratings for Letterman's "Late Show" have been through the roof since news of the affairs broke. On Monday 5.7 million viewers tuned in to watch Letterman, which more than doubled the audience that watched "Tonight" with Conan O'Brien. Last Thursday when Letterman broke the news, 5.9 million viewers watched his show.

Hmmm.

I thought the sexual "episodes," to use Letterman's word, were over long ago.

Halderman apparently began to suspect Birkitt was sleeping with Letterman in 2007. That's hardly long ago, and certainly after Letterman's son was born in 2003.

Someone is lying. I don't think any of the parties involved have credibility.

From the New York Daily News:

Perky "Late Show" staffer Stephanie Birkitt wrote David Letterman "trashy" love letters that will embarrass them both when they become public, sources said Tuesday.

"It's her musings about them," a source who perused Birkitt's purple prose told the Daily News. "It's trash."

Birkitt's letters - none of which was mailed - are steamy, but far from kinky.

"We're not talking crazy sexual escapades," the source said.

Still, they leave no doubt Birkitt was more than just Letterman's "Girl Friday" on the show.

"It's clear she's having a sexual relationship with Letterman," another source familiar with the probe told The News.

Letterman is such a hypocrite.

Read "Letterman threw spitballs from his own glass house."

What's really disturbing is that he's translated his unfaithfulness and creepiness into boffo ratings.

What's the moral of this story?

Letterman Scandal and Conan O'Brien

On Tuesday, The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien broke its silence on the David Letterman sex/extortion scandal.

Previously, O'Brien had avoided addressing the matter.

The joke on Tuesday's show wasn't delivered by O'Brien. So technically his hands are still clean.

Andy Richter was the one to zing Letterman during the segment, "In the Year 3000." Actually, it wasn't that much of a shot at Letterman. His name was never mentioned and the joke was really on O'Brien.

ANDY RICHTER: Conan O'Brien will confess that he has had sexual relations with co-workers in the past. Sadly, it was back when he was self-employed.

I don't think O'Brien should hesitate to take on Letterman.

He's fair game.

Do you think Letterman would cut O'Brien slack?

Letterman: Apology to Staff and Wife (Video, Transcript)

Last Thursday, David Letterman said he wasn't going to make any more comments on his sex/extortion scandal.

On Monday, he talked about it again. I suspect he'll continue to make jokes and refer to it because it's likely boosting his ratings. It's that watching a train wreck thing.



Transcript

DAVID LETTERMAN: Last week on the show I told a little story about being blackmailed. And I wasn't going to talk about it anymore but, uh, it seems like people want to talk about it.

(Laughter)

And, and, and when you're blackmailed, it's, it's a crime and you're a victim. It's felony extortion is what it is, and it's a nasty thing to do to people. Now, being a victim, and if you happen to, your behavior is responsible for hurting people, that's a separate part of the equation. And it did not occur to me last week when I was discussing having had sex with women who worked on the show that then what would happen is reporters and newspaper people and radio and TV would start pounding the staff and saying, 'Well, what do you say? Are you and this and that?' It was very, very unpleasant.

And I would just like to set the record straight: No, I'm not having sex with these women. Those episodes are in the past. So my apologies to subjecting them to that vulnerability and being browbeaten and humiliated. It never occurred to me. And as a matter of fact, Alan Kalter kept wanting to know if we'd had sex. Do you remember that Alan?

ALAN KALTER, announcer: I did. I didn't remember.

(Applause)

LETTERMAN: So, I'll just say I'm terribly sorry that I put the staff in that position. Inadvertently, I just wasn't thinking ahead. And, moreover, the staff here has been wonderfully supportive to me, not just through this furor, but through all the years that we've been on television and especially all the years here at CBS, so, again, my thanks to the staff for, once again, putting up with something stupid I've gotten myself involved in.

Why didn't the consequences occur to Letterman?

He's incredibly selfish.

Now the other thing is my wife, Regina. She has been horribly hurt by my behavior. And when something happens like that, if you hurt a person and it's your responsibility, you try to fix it. And at that point, there's only two things that can happen: Either you're going to make some progress and get it fixed, or you're going to fall short and perhaps not get it fixed. So let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me.

(Applause)

At this point, some sincere concern showed on Letterman's face. Maybe he realizes that he's possibly wrecked his son's life, that the happy family isn't happy.

Rather than continuing to be remorseful, Letterman reverts back to playing the victim card. He acts like he did something courageous.

But through all of this, you have to say to yourself, 'What really happened?' And what really happened was you can't be victimized by criminals. So, you have to go ahead and push back if you're being pushed by, by something illegal like this. And through all of the heartache and the attention and the embarrassment, I still feel like I did the right thing.

And now, also -- because what can it hurt? -- Once again, I'd like to apologize to the former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin.

(Applause, laughter)

I'm terribly, terribly sorry. So there we go.

Why would he end with a swipe at Sarah Palin?

Letterman is an odd mix of arrogance, cruelty, immaturity, and extreme selfishness.

While it's true that Letterman is a victim, he's also a victimizer.

Letterman isn't a hero for standing up to an alleged extortionist. That didn't take any courage.

It certainly doesn't take courage to repeatedly cheat on your common-law wife/wife/mother of your child with a number of women.
__________________

Video.



I wonder if CBS will pull this video from YouTube, citing copyright claims, the way it pulled video of Letterman's remarks from the Thursday show.

Perhaps CBS thinks Letterman got it right this time.

I don't.

__________________

Letterman's inappropriate workplace behavior and his unfaithfulness to Regina Lasko is translating into big ratings for him.

What an achievement!

Read more, USA Today.

Letterman's Monologue - Monday, October 5 (Transcript)

When David Letterman took to the stage on Monday's Late Show, he was greeted by extended applause. Obviously fans attend Letterman's show, but I think an ovation like that should be reserved for someone like "Sully" Sullenberger, not a sleazy boss who beds his intern and staff members.

The theme of David Letterman's monologue was his sex scandal and extortion case. That's all. Every joke referred to Letterman's mess.

How inappropriate! How NOT entertaining!

It's as if Letterman isn't taking the matter seriously. He genuinely doesn't seem to get the ramifications of his actions. He's focusing on what was done to him rather than what he did to others and how he hurt them.

Letterman offered his adoring audience some incredibly lame material. It was awkward and weird and just creepy.

Nonetheless, his audience loved it. They cheered and laughed and applauded. I think the audience was pretty creepy, too. At one point, a guy shouted, "We love you, Dave."

Yeah, sure.

Letterman's monologue was filled with joke after joke about his situation.

Transcript

"Did your weekend just fly by?"

"I'll be honest with you folks. Right now, I would give anything to be hiking on the Appalachian Trail."

"I got into the car this morning and the navigation lady wasn't speaking to me. Ouch."

"And don't kid yourself. Things are still pretty bad. There's a possibility that I'll be the first talk show host impeached."

"It's fall here in New York City, and I spent the whole weekend raking my hate mail."

"It's cold, too. It's chilly outside my house, chilly inside my house."

That's supposed to be funny, mocking his wife's reaction to the revelations that Letterman had been unfaithful to her, with more than one woman? What an ass!

"You know your day is going well when you're saying to a cop, "Now, you're sure he can't see me through the mirror."

"By the way, the going price for a screenplay based on this show right here -- $3 million."

"Did you hear about this? Over the weekend they came up with proof that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is Jewish. Found proof that Ahmadinejad is Jewish. I wonder how much they wanted to keep that quiet. Ahmadinejad won't be talking about it. He's referring all questions to Rubenstein Communications."

"President Obama goes to Denmark, and he's trying to get the 2016 Olympics for the great city of Chicago. And he presented his case in a heartfelt manner but they weren't buying it. And boy, do I know what that feels like."

Poor Letterman.

"OK, let's look at the news. First of all, Bill Clinton said... (Stops)"

"Good news for South Carolina Mark Sanford because he... (Stops)"

"How about that Eliot Spitzer?" (Paul Shaffer laughs heartily.)

"Ladies and gentleman, I want to remind you of one thing. This is only Phase One. This is Phase One of the scandal. Phase Two, next week I go on Oprah and sob. Phase Two." (Wipes away tears)

Letterman ended his monologue with a clip of a monkey sneezing.

"Here's something now that I believe will make all of us feel better. And don't we need it, by gosh? It's an old favorite of ours, never fails to work. Please enjoy a sneezing monkey."

Letterman is pathetic.

Yes, he's the victim of an alleged extortion plot, but he has also been exposed as conducting himself inappropriately in the workplace.

I think it's pretty sick that Letterman and CBS are milking the scandal.

CBS put up the opening minute of Letterman's monologue on YouTube, teasing Monday night's show hours before it aired.

Interesting how CBS picks and chooses which video clips it wants to circulate on the Internet.

Is CBS looking into the sexual harassment angle of this?


________________

Letterman's inappropriate workplace behavior and his unfaithfulness to Regina Lasko is translating into big ratings for him.

What an achievement!

Read more, USA Today.

Holly Hester: Letterman's 'Intern'

After all the years David Letterman spent making jokes about Bill Clinton and intern Monica Lewinsky, it turns out that it may be Letterman could have been the punch line.

What a hypocrite!

Holly Hester is claiming that she had a relationship with Letterman while she was his intern.

From TMZ:

A woman who interned for David Letterman in the early 90's says she was one of Letterman's top 10 -- on the staff.

Holly Hester tells TMZ the internship was her first job in TV. At the time she was a student at NYU. Hester says during a hiatus, Dave called her up and asked her to the movies. It began a series of secret dates, with no one on the staff having any idea. She says, "I was madly in love with him at the time. I would have married him. He was hilarious."

Hester says Dave ended it after a year -- she says he told her the age span was just too great.

This has to be so tough on Letterman's wife, Regina Lasko.

She's been with Letterman since 1986. Letterman has been with her and a series of others, including an intern, allegedly.

Is that really a laughing matter?

On his show Thursday night, Letterman certainly acted like it is when he explained the extortion matter.

He didn't sound remorseful to me, cracking jokes about having sex with staffers while he was in a relationship with the mother of his son.

I don't know how Letterman will be able to continue to mercilessly mock the sexual affairs of politicians and celebrities without appearing like the pot calling the kettle black.

How can Letterman, in good conscience, be so brutal on Sarah Palin and her family? How could he have attacked Palin and her children with such ferocity, all the while knowing what a creep he is?

I suppose the operative phrase is "in good conscience."

Feeling sincere shame and remorse requires a good conscience, something it appears Letterman lacks.

It's funny that Letterman himself should figure into his monologue on a nightly basis. If this story were about anyone but the boss, the writers would be all over it.

Letterman has set a new standard for hypocrites and jerks. He has set that bar very, very high.

Way to go, Dave!

Letterman Jokes

Letterman the victim, Letterman the unfaithful, is also Letterman the joke.

From the Associated Press:

Jay Leno, Letterman's longtime late-night rival, didn't waste a moment in addressing the situation. He kicked off his monologue on NBC's "The Jay Leno Show" with several jokes about Letterman.

He opened: "If you came here tonight for sex with a talk show host, you've got the wrong studio."

Leno continued: "What is going on? First Conan hit his head, and then somebody tries to extort money from Letterman. I'm so glad I'm out of late night," he said, also referencing an incident last week when Conan O'Brien, the new host of the "Tonight Show," suffered a mild concussion during a skit on the program.

When Leno claimed to never have had a sexual relationship with one of his employees, the drummer of his house band, Marvin "Smitty" Smith, threw a mock fit.

...On NBC's "Late Night," Jimmy Fallon also worked it into his monologue: "There's a new book out called "Why Women Have Sex" that says there are 237 reasons why women have sex. And folks, Letterman knows the top 10."

Stephanie Birkitt: Special Assistant to Letterman

Gawker offers some information on David Letterman and his treatment of his female "assistants."

• Letterman had a cadre of female assistants who fell heavily on the young and attractive side of the ledger. He was said to employ as not less than three of these Special Assistants to the Host last year. The assistant tally however, was said to have climbed as high as five at moments.

• The scuttlebutt on the set had it that current assistant-in-question, Stephanie Birkitt, received extra compensation for duties as his First Assistant, in the form of Letterman picking up the tab for her graduate law studies at the Yeshiva University Law School.

• Birkitt's duties included nannying work around the office. She could often be seen playing with his son and chasing him through the office halls.

• Birkitt also frequently appeared on air, playing the part of Dave's assistant in sketches and often delivering prizes to audience members in constants. Dave favored Birkitt with playful nicknames in these moments such as "Vicky" "Kitty" and "Dutch."

• Each Valentines Day, Letterman sent lavish, expensive bouquets of flowers to each and every non-male on the Late Show staff with a handwritten note signed "Your Friend Dave."

• Eyebrows were raised around the office by Letterman's long-delayed marriage to the mother of his now five year old son, whom he has been dating since 1986 and to whom he tied the knot only this year.

This is so creepy.

Letterman wants people to laugh about it; and he did get his audience to laugh and cheer him on when he told his tale of how he was victimized by 48 Hours producer Robert "Joe" Halderman.

I don't think there's anything funny about it. As more sordid details come out about what Letterman was doing, the disgusting nature of his behavior becomes more apparent.

I think Letterman is profoundly selfish and utterly thoughtless and terribly unprofessional.

Nothing funny about that.

Top Ten Reasons to Accept That Job Offer from David Letterman

From Jim Treacher's Blog, via Mark Levin:

TOP TEN REASONS TO ACCEPT THAT JOB OFFER FROM DAVID LETTERMAN

10. Get to find out "Worldwide Pants" refers to his breathing

9. Whenever he has trouble performing, he can always count on Paul

8. Stupid Prostate Tricks

7. Pillow talk includes fond remembrances of working with Calvert DeForest

6. "Can Jay do this? Huh? Can Jay do this?"

5. Share in wistful late-life transition from "My girlfriend doesn't understand me" to "My wife doesn't understand me"

4. Will It Rise?

3. Tries to be nice about it when he passes you off to Biff Henderson

2. "Whoops, looks like Cheney isn't the only one who shoots people in the face"

And the Number One Reason to Accept That Job Offer from David Letterman:

1. After the sex, he lets you keep the Palin wig

Letterman, Sex, Extortion - VIDEO

From Breitbart:

Link:

Note: This full video of Letterman discussing the extortion case and his sexual relationships with staffers is no longer available.

Below is the full transcript and a clip of the final portion of Letterman's remarks.


Watch CBS News Videos Online

From The Comic's Comic:

Here is the full transcript (audience reactions to Letterman are in parentheses):

“I’m glad you folks are here tonight, and I’m glad you’re in such a pleasant mood because I have a little story that I would like to tell you and the home viewers as well. Do you feel like a story? (applause/cheers) This started three weeks ago yesterday. And I get up early and I come to work early, and I go out and I get into my car, and in the back seat of my car, there is a package I don’t recognize, and have never seen before and don’t usually receive packages six in the morning in the back of my car. (laughter) I guess you can. I guess some people do. So I get to looking through it, and there’s a letter in the package, and it says that, ‘I know that you do some terrible, terrible things. (laughter) And I can prove that you do these terrible things.’ And sure enough, contained in the package was stuff to prove that I do terrible things. (laughter) It’s six in the morning, and maybe this looks better to you at noon, (laughter) but six in the morning, all you can think about is every terrible thing that you’ve done in your entire life. (laughter) So I go through it, and I study it, and what this is, is a guy is going to write a screenplay about me. And you know, that’s good news for anyone, isn’t it really? (laughter/applause) And he’s going to take all of the terrible stuff that he knows about my life, and he seems to, in this packet, there seems to be quite a lot of terrible stuff that he knows about. And he’s going to put it into a movie unless I give him some money. Yeah, I’m like you, I think, really? That’s a little, and this is the word I actually used, that’s a little hinky. (laughter)

"So I just want to reiterate how terrifying this moment is, because there’s something very insidious about, is he standing down there? Is he hiding under the car? (laughter) Am I going to get a tap on the shoulder? You immediately, because I’m motivated by nothing but guilt. If you know anything about me (laughter) I am just a towering mass of Lutheran Midwestern guilt. (laughter/applause) Well, thank you.

"So I get to the office and I say to myself, I hate doing things like this, but maybe I’ll call my attorney. So I call my attorney, and he takes a look at it, and he says, well, let’s schedule a meeting with the guy, just to see what he has in mind. So there’s a meeting with the guy, and it turns out, yes in fact, he wants a large sum of money or he’s going to produce this screenplay of all of the terrible things that I do. Embarrassing, terrible things. (laughter) So, at that point, my attorney and I say, wow, this really is hinky. (laughter) So then we call an operation called the Special Prosecution Bureau, which is a division of the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office. We call down there, and we say, can we run a couple of things by you guys? (laughter) So we took the stuff down there and they said, whoa, hello, this is blackmail. (laughter/applause) So they said, what you want to do is get another meeting with this guy and find out if he’s serious, because, you know, we all have a bad day, and stuff like this (laughter) can slip through the cracks, you’ve inadvertently blackmailed someone. (laughter) So they have the second meeting, and the question was posed, and are you aware, that this is serious, this could be a crime. And, no, no, I’m fine with that. And oh, by the way, not only am I writing a screenplay. I’m writing a book. So I thought, well, that’s nice. You have a companion piece. You have the film, and you have the book. What do you, read the book first, then go to the film? Do you watch the film then you read the book? Do you take the book and read along at the film? (laughter) It’s all coming up roses for me now. (laughter) Because, remember, this guy knows creepy stuff about me. So they had the second meeting and he was reassured that everything was just fine. And then a third meeting is arranged.

"And if there’s a lighthearted moment in any of this, and I’m not sure there really is, the third meeting – the third meeting is arranged whereby he’s given the check. Now I don’t think I’ve mentioned the amount up ‘til now. But he was asking $2 million. (gasps/laughter) Was that the foreigners? (applause) So the check is turned over, $2 million, and because I’m such a bonehead, you ever seen the golf tournaments where they have the giant check when the guy wins it? (laughter) But I couldn’t talk him into that. (Paul: “No. Hehe.”) So now this guy is walking around New York City with a phony check for $2 million, and the idea is now, although he’s given no guarantees. He’s still saying, well, you know, you never know, I may just go ahead and write the book, may just go ahead and write the screenplay. So, for that guarantee, he’s got a phony check for $2 million.



“So this morning I did something I’ve never done in my life. And it was a combination of just unusual and scary – this whole thing has been quite scary – I had to go downtown to testify before the grand jury. And I had to tell them how I was disturbed by this, I was worried for myself, I was worried for my family, I felt menaced by this. And I had to tell them all of the creepy things that I have done, that were going to be (laughter). Now why is that funny? That’s, I mean. (laughter/applause) So the idea is that if they believe, in fact, a crime has been committed, then they issue a warrant, and that’s exactly what happened. And a little bit after noon today, the guy was arrested. (applause/cheers)”

“Now of course, we get to, what was it? What was all the creepy stuff (laughter) that he was gonna put into the screenplay and the movie? And the creepy stuff was, that I have had sex with women who work for me on this show. Now. My response to that is, yes I have. (laughter/applause) I have had sex with women who work on this show. (more applause) And would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would. Perhaps it would. (laughter) Especially for the women. (laughter/applause) But that’s a decision for them to make if they want to come public and talk about the relationships. If I want to talk about the relationships. But what you don’t want is a guy saying, oh, I know you had sex with women so I would like $2 million or I’m going to make trouble for you. So that’s where we stand right now.

"I just want to thank the people at the Special Prosecution Bureau and the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office, Robert Morgenthau, who is head of that. It’s been a very bizarre experience. I feel like I need to protect these people. I need to certainly protect my family. I need to protect myself – hope to protect my job – and the friends, everybody that has been very supportive through this. And I don’t plan to say much more about this on this particular topic. So, thank you for letting me bend your ears. (applause) Now. I know what you’re saying. ‘I’ll be darned, Dave’s had sex!’ (laughter) That’s what the grand jury said also. (laughter) Really? You’ve had sex? Alright, now what do we do? I guess we do a thing. Thank you again for your patience. We’ll be right back…”

Robert 'Joe' Halderman

UPDATE, March 10, 2010: Letterman: Case against producer handled properly
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According to TMZ, Robert Halderman is the man who attempted to extort $2 million from David Letterman.

TMZ has learned the identity of the alleged extortionist who was arrested today. His name is Robert Halderman. He's 51 years old and lives in Norwalk, CT. Halderman has a business in Manhattan, where he was arrested today.

Robert "Joe" Halderman is so sleazy, and stupid (allegedly).
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From AP:

CBS says an employee has been charged with attempted grand larceny in an investigation involving "Late Show" host David Letterman, who has acknowledged that he had sexual relationships with female employees and that someone tried to extort $2 million from him over the affairs.

CBS says the employee worked on "48 Hours" and has been suspended pending the results of the investigation. The network says the employee was arrested Thursday, hours before Letterman went public with his account during a taping of his show in New York.

The network says it's cooperating with authorities.

From RadarOnline:

[T]he alleged extortionist lived with the woman who David was involved with.

The affair happened a long time ago, before his son Harry was born, and before he got married, but he was living with his wife to be at the time.

Halderman needed money police say and decided to target Letterman.

The woman still works on the show but is no longer involved with David.

More from AP:

The network said late Thursday the person who was arrested works on the true-crime show "48 Hours" and has been suspended. A person with knowledge of the investigation who spoke on condition of anonymity said the suspect is Robert J. Halderman.

A "48 Hours" producer named Joe Halderman was part of a team nominated for an Emmy for outstanding continuing coverage of a news story in a news magazine in 2008.

Two numbers listed for Halderman were disconnected, and a message left at a third number was not immediately returned Thursday.

David Letterman: Sex with Staffers, Extortion

David Letterman is acting like a victim.

The poor guy was involved in an extortion plot.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Talk host David Letterman said Thursday that he was the victim of a $2-million extortion attempt related to his sexual relationships with staffers on CBS' "The Late Show."

During a taping for tonight's broadcast, Letterman told viewers that three weeks ago he was approached by a person who claimed to have information about the host's affairs with female staff members. This person, Letterman said, threatened to expose the relationships unless payment of $2 million was received. The CBS star approached the Manhattan district attorney's office, which began an investigation that culminated in today's arrest of the person, whom Letterman did not identify.

Letterman, 62, said that during his grand-jury testimony he admitted to the sexual relationships.

"My response to that is, yes I have," he told his studio audience. "Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps." However, he added: "I need to certainly protect my family."

From ABC News:

Earlier this year, Letterman announced on his show his marriage to his longtime girlfriend, Regina Lasko. The pair have a son, Harry Joseph Letterman, whose impending arrival Letterman announced on his show in 2003.

It's unclear from the Worldwide Pants statement when Letterman's sexual relations with his female staffers occurred.

But according to the statement, Letterman received a package three weeks ago containing a threat to reveal those indiscretions "if Letterman did not pay the individual a large sum of money" -- specified in a later communication as $2 million.

"Letterman said that he referred the matter to the Special Prosecution Bureau of the Manhattan District Attorney's office," the Worldwide Pants statement said, "which Letterman said conducted an investigation, which included his issuing a "phony" $2 million check to the individual, and culminated in the individual's arrest earlier today."

Letterman has so often mocked others for their infidelities.

He especially enjoys targeting Republicans. Now Letterman is exposed as the adulterer. Well, technically, I guess he didn't commit adultery. He wasn't married to Regina Lasko yet when he had the sexual relationships with his female employees, but he was living with her. In any event, I guess he just couldn't keep it in his Worldwide Pants.

I think Letterman should be the subject of a Top Ten list -- David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons for Having Sex with his Employees.

I wonder what Letterman's reasons are for cheating on Regina Lasko with more than one staffer.

10. "McCain not showing up lowered my self-esteem"

9. "I was working on a new book -- Late Show Creepy Facts"

8. "My weakness: the slutty stewardess look"

7. "Just trying to answer the question: How many staffers can I get into my Worldwide Pants?"

6. "I just had a thrill go up my leg"

5. "I needed a new category for 'Know Your Current Events'"

4. "I wanted to be known as the Bill Clinton of late night television"

3. "Forget 10:00 PM. I'm building my resume for the governor's mansion"

2. "Needed to kill some time before the next 'Fire Dave' rally"

1. "Got tired of waiting for Paris Hilton"

It's not cool for a boss to have sex with staffers. That's inappropriate. It's creating a hostile work environment. No executive in business would survive these revelations.

Of course, I don't expect CBS to do anything to Letterman. His ratings are all that matter to CBS, and lately they've been up.

I feel sorry for Letterman's wife. He humiliated her. Maybe Lasko doesn't mind that Letterman was having sexual relationships with staffers since they weren't married. They have been together since 1986. If she doesn't care, then I really feel sorry for her.

Letterman's son, Harry, is too young to understand; but eventually he'll learn what sort of man his father is.
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UPDATE: When Letterman told the story of his indiscretions to his audience, he did a lot of joking and the audience did a lot of laughing.

Extortion is a crime. What Letterman did isn't a crime, unless the staffers were underage. That certainly doesn't appear to be the case.

There's no question that Letterman was victimized.

TMZ reports that Robert Halderman is the man arrested in the plot.

I don't really feel sorry Letterman. I suppose that's because he is so merciless when it comes to mocking others' personal affairs.

What goes around comes around.